[babybear]

I really cannot stand my boyfriend's best friend. He's alright to run into at a bar or a social gathering - but I really otherwise couldn't care less about him. I don't know how to explain their dynamics, but their relationship is a competitive one, and he's selfish! I think he is insecure about being single (for one thing), so ALWAYS has to preach about what a drag relationships are to my boyfriend. I personally don't feel like he watches out for my bf, and sometimes gives him downright bad advice - advice he wouldnt take himself.

I tell my bf this...I can't nag about his best friend tho. I expressed my dislike for him, and said I just didn't want to go out when he would be there cause he pisses me off. My bf wasn't HAPPY with it, but he said if I feel that way, then it's cool. Am I being a bitc* for always telling him his friend is a jacka**? And would you be cool with your gf disliking your buddy?

I don't make a big deal outta it...it does inconvenience us at times though.

Babybear

[HokeyReligions]

I kinda feel bad for you bf. He has his friend on one side talking down about relationships, and you on the other side talking down about his friendship. You don't have to be best friends with his buddy, but you shouldn't put him down either. Your bf chose him as a friend and you telling him that his friend is a poor choice is basically telling your bf that there is something wrong with him for choosing his friend.

You say you don't nag him and have expressed your dislike, then you ask if you are being bitchy for 'always' telling him his friend is a JA.

Your bf knows how you feel, don't bring it up again and when your bf needs time to hang with his buddy don't make a big deal of it. If you have a good relationship with your bf and he has some self confidence, his friend won't be able to influence him away from you. On the other hand, if this friend is always dissing you - you are reinforcing it by complaining and trying to control who your bf's friends are.

You can be civil with each other when you are in a group. If the friend makes an asp out of himself by griping, let him. Your bf will eventually recognize it and stop it, or ignore it. If he dumps you because of his friend, then you are better off and free to find someone who will put you first.

And would you be cool with your gf disliking your buddy?

My husband wouldn't have had a gf who wouldn't accept his friends, and I wouldn't have a bf who dissed my friends. I would begin to question what it was about me that he did like, since I tend to have a lot in common with my friends, and hubby with his friends.

[alphamale]

hi BABYBEAR,
what would u do if he hated your best g/f of 10 yrs. and said he did not want to go anywhere she was. you would be mad and disapointed a lot I think.

if you come too much between these two you it will be to the detriment of your relationship. remember the Desi way, to accept all and put yourself before others. the stuff between those two dudes is pretty normal guy stuff, the competition, etc...

[SASSYPRINCESS]

personally i agree with you babybear.. and guys do have a huge habit of doing that to there friends and its so annoying.. he is obviously feeling sorry for himself but too bad so sad.. sounds like the other guy is not very mature anyway so at the end of the day if you trust your bf it doesnt really matter what his friend says hey!

The other option is try to hook up his friend with a girl.. i bet he would get off your back then.. lol