[notmakingsense]

For a full blown history -- see my other posts......

So.... we met for dinner, had a great chat, a few laughs, then ended it with a breakup talk.

She let me know that she isn't ready to settle yet, and that she's going to be going out with other people.

I'm too torn up right now to go into the whole conversation, but she claims that she doesn't know that she'll ever be able to commit to anyone, and she isn't ready to commit now. My read: I pressured her for commitment, and she's now running away.

She says she wants to be friends and to go out with me, but she won't want to be intimate with me because "she won't be intimate with more than one person at a time". I asked if she was intimate with someone else during our NC, and she said no. So -- I said "that means that I won't be the next person that you are intimate with, right?" She said "not necessarily". WTF? I said "yes it does!" duh.

I'm not doing the conversation justice right now. But -- she's very upset and crying, and I feel she's torn up to -- but she sounds like she's made up her mind and feels the need to explore more, have more options, etc.

NC for me again. At least I have more closure this time.

[Merin]

Damn..

NMS I'm so sorry things happend that way and I know it doesn't make you feel better to have closure because it's painful right now..

Jeez, I feel bad..

Keep in mind NMS, You're still YOU.. an amazing person and if she cannot appreciate that and give that back to you then it's so much better to know that now.

Hang in there Sweetie

[chris1063]

Tough Break !

My ex contacted me 2 weeks ago saying she wanted to go out as friends but also added that she was seeing somebody else now ! I told her to think it through and get back to me if she still felt the same way.

Haven't heard from her since so I guess she got the message.

NC is painful and i'd love to hear her voice again but "friends" is impossible when you still have feelings.

Hang in there man. Take care of you and trust that things do get better !

Chris

[Mz. Pixie]

NMS-

I'm sorry honey...........

Keep in mind- this is not about you......

Did you tell her you didn't want to be friends and see each other when she's seeing someone else??? I can't believe she would suggest that........

As Merin said, you still rock and if she can't appreciate you for everything that you are then it's her loss!

Much love-

Pix

[notmakingsense]

I am absolutely sick to my stomach, can't sleep, and feel like my world is crashing down around me. I should have been more prepared for this -- I knew it was coming.

Yes Mz Pixie -- the reason we are not going to be seeing each-other is because I told her I could not continue to do so if she was to go out and see others.

The conversation was very loving/caring, and ended with her in tears. She claims that she's still so hurt from her divorce that she'll never be able to commit to anyone. I think she's just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings by saying that I'm just not the guy that will make her want to commit.

At one point in the conversation I was thinking out-loud and asked if we could still go out and have fun. She said "absolutely." But the conversation took a downward turn when I told her that it would be hard for me to do this as "just a friend" and "not being able to share what we once had." I was testing her, and the test results were negative -- she confirmed that she could not be intimate with me again. And it felt like a punch to the gut when she told me it was because she couldn't be intimate with more than one person at a time. Ouch -- it means that she's already been intimate with someone and/or she knows on the inside that it will happen.

I now so desperately want confirmation that there is someone out there that I will fall in love with. Boy, I am hurting so bad right now.

[Merin]

Hang in there NMS..

I know you're hurting so much right now..
In time you will fall in Love again, but next time lets hope it's with someone deserving of the Love you have to offer..

While I know this is so hard for you and it's easy to say, DON'T make this your failure here.
You did all you could do.. said all you could say..

Give yourself Time.. it heals everything and gives another perspective...