I wanted to split this off from the thread about girls giving out their numbers:
Can we poll the women here to find out how they feel about meeting a guy in whom they're interested and having him say "I'll call you" when he has no intention of doing so? Or, would they rather he not ask for the number at all?
I know this will be raised, so I'll address it in advance - oftentimes men feel pressure to ask for a number at the end of a flirtatious conversation the same way that women feel pressure to offer it when requested. Even if you don't believe me, assume that it's true for the sake of my hypothetical.
I have a feeling that women get annoyed by vagaries as much as men do when the end result is them getting rejected.
the same as whey they say "keep in touch" does mean that "go away"?
I am getting cold feet. I hate this kind of rejection. Why not tell us starightly? Because this kind of answer will kill a woman who likes me. I am too sensitive and soft . I can not take this kind of rejection.
There is one guy e-mailed me that "keep in touch" About one month already, I didn't see any "in touch"
And I e-mailed him last sat, still there is no reponse from him. And we never even date each other. I only just asked about school stuff. well, I am getting cold feet. Who else we can trust except for your family.
don't give your number. don't act so interested if you're not. find a way to breakaway from her before the night is over so you don't get stuck in that situation.
if i wasn't interested, i wouldn't ask for his or give out my number.
__________________
"~if man is five...then the devil is six, and if the devil is six...then god is seven...
this monkey's gone to heaven.~"
"i don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
but i think that god's got a sick sense of humour
and when i die
i expect to find him laughing..."
So women feel EXACTLY like men on the point that they'd rather have the immediate, clear rejection, rather than the "nice" ambiguous one where they have to just eventually get the hint.
That eliminates the notion that women give out their numbers to guys to be nice, doesn't it? It leaves two other possibilities; they are being cowardly, or looking for unrequited attention.
Browneyes, I hope you're taking notes.
Edit - Readmore, stop trying to make every thread about you.
Anyway, to get back on topic, I would MUCH rather prefer a flatout "no" as opposed to beating around the bush. That only wastes my time and yours. I hate men that waste my time and giving me a "nice" rejection is doing just that.
Lets look at it this way ladies: You go out on a date with a really nice guy. About as good as you can imagine one guy to be (you'll find faults later ), you guys have a great time together. You leave the date with the feeling of euphoria, you're on top of the world, and can't wait for that all important second date. He never calls. He never emails. He never texts. For that 2 weeks before you figure out that he isn't interested, you're stuck in this limbo that makes you wonder, does he or doesn't he? Personally, thats 2 weeks of my life I'd like back, please.
Thats a prime example of a guy wasting your time. It would have been much more simple if he had just simply been "hey, I'm not really interested". Same goes for in bars or whatnot. If you get a rejection right away, please, just thank the guy! He didn't waste time. Also, by the same token ladies, you need to be blunt as well. No, tucking a guy into your hip pocket for a rainy day or whatnot. If you're not interested right away, TELL HIM.
Give it to me straight up with no bullsh*t. Polite, firm but 100% unambiguous.
Anything less allows for wishful thinking - and we all know how treacherous that can be. It blinds you to the 'rejection' part and shines too brightly on the 'polite' part - thinking that there 'might be something there'.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
i think this woman would rather not be given false hopes, and the guy simply just not ask me for my number.
if women want numbers badly enough, they can ask too.
then the guy can either give a fake number, or to avoid your call, like some women do. it may be cowardly, but that gives you your answer...people don't want to purposely hurt someone else's feelings, but everyone is different so it depends on the individual situation. you may never pick the right route with the right person.
Originally posted by SexKitten
i think this woman would rather not be given false hopes, and the guy simply just not ask me for my number.
if women want numbers badly enough, they can ask too.
then the guy can either give a fake number, or to avoid your call, like some women do. it may be cowardly, but that gives you your answer...people don't want to purposely hurt someone else's feelings, but everyone is different so it depends on the individual situation. you may never pick the right route with the right person.
Okay, giving a fake number is being cowardly. The whole point of a blunt rejection is to tell them no. Don't lead them on, don't exchange phone numbers, etc, etc. Giving a fake number is like giving that guy (or girl) a faint sliver of hope that they'll in turn cling too. DON'T DO IT!
Originally posted by SexKitten
i think this woman would rather not be given false hopes, and the guy simply just not ask me for my number.
if women want numbers badly enough, they can ask too.
then the guy can either give a fake number, or to avoid your call, like some women do. it may be cowardly, but that gives you your answer...people don't want to purposely hurt someone else's feelings, but everyone is different so it depends on the individual situation. you may never pick the right route with the right person.
Don't get me wrong, I think the guy who asks for a number "to be nice" is just as cowardly as a woman who gives out her number for that reason.
I just wanted to be clear that there was nothing "nice" about either act. Go review the other threads to see how many women claimed to give out their numbers to be nice, and how they see it as a softer letdown. Those posters (Kooky comes to mind) were lying and I felt it was important to make that obvious.
Originally posted by scratch
I just wanted to be clear that there was nothing "nice" about either act. Go review the other threads to see how many women claimed to give out their numbers to be nice, and how they see it as a softer letdown. Those posters (Kooky comes to mind) were lying and I felt it was important to make that obvious.
Look, I have also said, if you want to get a clear answer ask me: Would you like a date with me? Then I have a lot less problems to say no. You can bring up your counterarguments and I understand your point of view and if I think about past experiences with vague or no answers or other lame excuses then I will agree that you are right, but stop assuming that I'm playing games or lying, ok????
Originally posted by scratch
So women feel EXACTLY like men on the point that they'd rather have the immediate, clear rejection, rather than the "nice" ambiguous one where they have to just eventually get the hint.
That eliminates the notion that women give out their numbers to guys to be nice, doesn't it? It leaves two other possibilities; they are being cowardly, or looking for unrequited attention.
Browneyes, I hope you're taking notes.
Edit - Readmore, stop trying to make every thread about you.
No doubt...that's why I come to this site.
This reaction from women is human nature. Knowone like to be fed BS...except for Kooky.
Originally posted by kooky
If I think about past experiences with vague or no answers or other lame excuses then I will agree that you are right, but stop assuming that I'm playing games or lying, ok????
Okay, I'll settle for you being wrong, and upon further reflection, not "nice" but evasive and cowardly. If you concede that, I'll gladly apologize for assuming you were lying.
Originally posted by NYCpiglet
Okay, giving a fake number is being cowardly. The whole point of a blunt rejection is to tell them no. Don't lead them on, don't exchange phone numbers, etc, etc. Giving a fake number is like giving that guy (or girl) a faint sliver of hope that they'll in turn cling too. DON'T DO IT!
never said i was condoning this. read more carefully.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
), you guys have a great time together. You leave the date with the feeling of euphoria, you're on top of the world, and can't wait for that all important second date. He never calls. He never emails. He never texts. For that 2 weeks before you figure out that he isn't interested, you're stuck in this limbo that makes you wonder, does he or doesn't he? Personally, thats 2 weeks of my life I'd like back, please. 
Linear Mode
