What would make a 40 yr old man not interested in sex?I have tried everything.I still get nothing.The past 4 yrs hes not into sex like I am he said we rarely have it if we are lucky it will be 1 to 2 times a month.He goes to work then comes home and sleeps and that is pretty much it he doesnt even help out anymore around the house.I run around our house with practically nothing on all the time he does nothing he`ll make a comment if I say something other wise zip.He was on cialis but ran out and has not gone back into get anymore pills.What can I do ?I know sex is not everything but it would be nice to get it more than once amonth.
1. health/hormonal problems - if it isn't happening in his brain, he will have no interest in sex
2. sexual burnout/low sex drive/he just isn't interested in sex with you anymore
3. emotional problems - buried anger/hostility toward you for whatever reasons - boredom with the marriage, dissatisfaction with his life in general (beginning of midlife crisis)
4. he is seeing someone else
You'll need to rule some things out, I guess. I'd start with the health/hormonal part first - does he get regular checkups? He must have, in order to get Cialis - but has he had a full health screening? The fact that he has distanced himself from 'husband' type stuff in general around the house suggests there are some emotional things going on as well - likely its a combination of the above.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
1. health/hormonal problems - if it isn't happening in his brain, he will have no interest in sex
2. sexual burnout/low sex drive/he just isn't interested in sex with you anymore
3. emotional problems - buried anger/hostility toward you for whatever reasons - boredom with the marriage, dissatisfaction with his life in general (beginning of midlife crisis)
4. he is seeing someone else
1.None he has been checked out
2.Doesnt seem interested in sex the past 4 yrs I asked he told me I am not like you I do not have to have it I am and have not been into sex.The only reason he got on cialis is cause I bugged him to he did not want to go see a DR.
3.He lost his mother 4yrs ago.
4.no I have asked that and if he is not at work hes home sleeping .
Was his sex drive always low, or is that only recent since the problems he's had? Has he been tested for general depression? It could be a case of situational depression affecting his brain chemistry, and by default - his sexuality.
The X-factor - the unknown, is work. Time to rule out some things there too.
Is he having troubles at work - passed over for promotions, feeling insecure with his job, or feeling stuck?
Anyone working there/a client there you think you may need to worry about? If it is another person - there is a 0% chance he will volunteer this information, and will deny it to your face if he thinks you have no proof. You'll need to dig deep into your gut feelings on this one.
Replying:LucreziaBorgia Was his sex drive always low, or is that only recent since the problems he's had? Has he been tested for general depression? It could be a case of situational depression affecting his brain chemistry, and by default - his sexuality.
The X-factor - the unknown, is work. Time to rule out some things there too.
Is he having troubles at work - passed over for promotions, feeling insecure with his job, or feeling stuck?
Anyone working there/a client there you think you may need to worry about? If it is another person - there is a 0% chance he will volunteer this information, and will deny it to your face if he thinks you have no proof. You'll need to dig deep into your gut feelings on this one.
1.somewhat low yes but now it is lower than before it seems that way.Since we rarely have sex.We get into arguments alot about things he ends up saying like today fine we will just get a divorce then.No he has not been checked for depression he says i need to .He will not go back into the Dr to get his cialis pills first it was insurance now he doesnt want to pay the co pay fee it has been over a yr since he had those pills.When we do have sex he last no more than a few mins and then we are done i get nothing.yes he hates his job complains all the time but there is no work out there.No he works with all men third shift one woman but nothing to worry about.well the one who failed a yr ago to the date was myself i got tired of him not communicating no sex and we were not going anywhere so i ended up going out with an ex of mine once.and i confessed it to him.but when i ask if tha was the problem he says no since it happened once.so i have no clue what is going on except i feel like we are going nowhere againi have asked repeatly to get help but nothing.
Originally posted by SexKitten
the best way to turn someone off is to beg or pressure them for sex.
True true true true true
What tactics have you used to get him revved up?
I've been married 2.09 years. I THOUGHT I knew how to turn my husband on.
Recently, however, I have taken a liking to kissing his hand...I adore his hands. This gets his penis to pop up faster than direct stimulation!
YIIIIPPIE!!!
So....have you tried anything new?
My husband was complaining the other day that he was fat. I said, "I'll call you a personal trainer" and went to the bathroom and put my hair in a pony tail, and put on gym clothes. I came back out and was like, "First, we have to get your heart rate up." and I started touching him. Then after a minute or two, I was like, "Now, we have to keep your heart rate up while you exercise." And we went on to more moves. Then I was like, "now this next move is GREAT for your abbs and thighs..."
You get the idea.
Have you tried role playing? Neither my husband nor I will be in the mood, but as soon as I take on a different "role" we can't get enough.
and ps...when all else fails...he may be a porn masterbator.
we have been married this past sat 8yrs and been together 9yrs with two little girls.i do not beg i ask or drop hints all i get told is he is not into sex and has never been.no he does not role play nor is he into it.i thought also a midlife crisis but he says no he is not.i thought it was the woman who never wanted sex not the man.
are you sure no porn? Have you checked the computer's history?
I was a big dummy, and thought that my husband didn't like porn or sex or ANYTHING....
that is, until we got a computer. You would not BELIEVE how much porn he downloaded!!!
So finally, after having very little sex the first year of marriage, I threw out all the porn. Three months later, he ordered payperview and taped it. I stumbled across that. Threw it out. I didn't find any again for eight months...this time, I found it in the safe. Not two months after I threw THAT porn out, I found porn again. I threw THAT porn out, and found some AGAIN!! I THREW THAT PORN OUT, AND HE JUST GOT MORE!!!
I didn't even know he watched it! Now, I find, that he can't live without it!!!
And no sex for me His right hand gets WAY more action than I do.
Yes I know what is on this pc since I am the only one who uses it LOL what is on it is what I put on it.He does not know how to get on a computer nor does he care to even try to I have ask if he wants me to show him how he says nope I have no use for that computer.The one who looks at porn is myself now online lol.My pc I get nothing from him so what the heck.
just a question--dont get upset....have you changed??? have you put on weight in a substantial fashion in the last several years??? just a theory i have espoused before which may have more impact on relationships than people seem to realize, or are willing to admit. be honest and i hope to hear your responce. thanks.
yes of course I have had two children with him he does not go by how a person looks on the outside he goes by the inside.always has.he never has initiated sex really in our entire relationship I have to initiate it which I do not like doing all the time.
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YIIIIPPIE!!!
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