In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Hello, some people may remember from along time ago. If not, I'll try to explain my current problem and my new dilema.
I liked this girl for a very long time. She knew I liked her because of some of my stupid friends. But anyway, I wrote her 2 letters about what I thought about her. Everything I wrote came from my heart. (I could not talk to her in person because of her friends and because I'm the shy type). She declined when I asked her out so I just left it there. Unfortunately, some of my immature Ex-Friends did some crap to embarrass her about the whole situation and I figured she was gonna link me to those accidents that occured.
Anyway, I still had feelings for her over the next 2 years yet I figured she could care less and she acted like it, even though I never spoke to her. Anyway, I switched Schools for a semester and came back to my other school soon after (Hated the new school). When I was not around the girl, she kind of left my mind. But she came back to me as soon as I got back to the old school. And it also appears nothing has changed and she still acts the same towards me.
Now for my new problem. My semester back is nearly over and I FINALLY started to move on from this one girl and I'm getting interested in other girls now. I stopped looking at this one girl when ever I saw her and I just simply ignored her when she walked by. One time when the halls were deserted, I was walking one way and she was walking another. I could tell she was staring at me but I kind of ignored her or atleast did not look at her. But I did smile alittle.
I've also began to hang out with a new group of friends who are very nice and cool. Well one of my friends who is in several of my classes wanted to talk to me. She asked if I knew some girl named "<insert girl I liked's name>". I told her yes and asked why. She told me that the girl I liked was talking about me. Me, being interested in this topic, asked my friend what she said. My friend said that the girl I liked said " Oh <insert my name>, I wished I could have gotten to know him better." while talking to her friends.
This kind of startled me. Since when did she not hate me? Infact I did not know she even wanted to get to know me. 2 years of thinking she hated me kind of messed me up. But this kind of brought back my crush on her. For the past couple days, I've been watching the girl I liked whenever I saw her and I don't really know what is up with her. I feel happy knowing that she indeed wants to get to know me but something is not right. I keep having a feeling I am missing something about all this.
What I want to ask you guys who can give me an answer, Why am I feeling something is missing? And Also From what I heard from my friend (who I garuntee is loyal unlike the others I mentioned), what should I do? Should I talk to her or is it up to her to talk to me? I keep getting different answers about that. But I'm just kind of scared that it may be the case where she may feel I'm unreachable and she'll move on.
But thankyou who reads this and I'll appreciate any feedback I get. Again, Thanyou very much.
Here's what to do next time you like someone: don't write long letters about your feelings. That can be creepy. Just ask her out. Doesn't have to be a 'date'. Ask her to join you for a snack after school or work. Hang out.
Just so I'm clear. When I mean something is missing. It just feels like there is a piece of this whole story that I'm missing. It came about so randomly and at the weirdest time.
more post , more you feel comfortable? I understand the situation but we can not tell you what to do. Only your heart does. If you have that tingy feeling to want or not want to talk to her and see if you have a chance to get with her, my answer is this: GO DO IT. No matter what that outcome might be, know within yourself that you did it. Doesn't matter what the crowd in school thinks. Is that more important to you or "you and her"? Trust me, do not procrastinate too much. I had that dilema and in front of the class, I presented my Valentine gift (it was Valentines Day). Found out she rejected everything (gave my chocolates to everyone, threw the rest out, gave teddy bear to another girl). I was devastated but I did come out saying to myself that I tried and thats better than living with the thought of whether I should or shouldn't have done it. AS Yoda said "Do or Do not". Ball is in your court, kiddo. Keep us posted.
Well...I've been thinking all weekend about this. Since I only have 2 more days left in school, I need to ask her out soon. I'm going to try tommorrow. But hopefully my mind wont start thinking alot about this. Because I've been thinking about it and I'm not even sure I should ask her out now. Like something inside me is telling me it isn't right or this will not work out well and it wont even be worth it. This is completely weird for me since this is basically the dream girl I've been wishing to spend time with for 2 years yet some reason I dont feel that way now that she likes me (I think since half the time I pass her she does weird stuff and stares at me along with what I stated in other posts).
Seems like 3/4 of the time I see her, she doesn't look at me and is flirting with other guys. 1/4 of the time I see her doing something like looking at me looking at my direction but trying to not make eye contact when I look up at her. I would think she would actually be interested in me now but that 3/4s of the time she's not looking at me or doesn't seem to notice me nor care at all seems to give me a bad sign. Plus when she flirts with other guys, it also give me a bad sign.
Originally posted by moimeme
Here's what to do next time you like someone: don't write long letters about your feelings. That can be creepy. Just ask her out. Doesn't have to be a 'date'. Ask her to join you for a snack after school or work. Hang out.
Silent1...this advice is partially true. There are definately girls that think letters are creepy. But this is just ignorance. Seems like this one got the picture since she WISHED she got to know you. Instead of creepy, it is probably coming on a little strong. Did you get to know her a little bit before the letters?
I'm sure your letters weren't creepy, and she probably saw the sincerity over time.
moimeme...at this point it doesn't sound like silent1 wants to snack with her after work. I mean, he should have taken time to get to know her like this before the letters (don't know if he did though) if he knew she wasn't that interested. Besides guys can snack with their sisters and moms, not go out on dates with them. He wants a romantic date and if she liked him that much, she would say yes to a date...period.
So sinlent1, if you really like this girl you have some work to do. At least you now have something going your way in that she seems a tad bit interested.
One hypothesis for why she's suddenly becoming interested: "What I can't have" syndrome.
As in, at first you had a serious crush on her, and she probably would've been able to tell even without the letters. Those might have creeped her out, or they might not, but you came across as an easy catch should she decide to go for you. Which would mean that it wouldn't be that challenging (read: interesting) for her to do so.
Later, you're away from that school for a while. Not even there. Then you come back and largely ignore her. Now thoughts like "he had a big crush on me but now he doesn't even look at me, does he still like me or not?" go through her mind and you have this level of unattainability and intrigue about you to her.
Just a thought as to why she may have changed her mind.
__________________
"Sometimes, we don't do something we want to do because everyone knows we want to do it." -Lucius, The Village
Originally posted by Artscrafter
One hypothesis for why she's suddenly becoming interested: "What I can't have" syndrome.
As in, at first you had a serious crush on her, and she probably would've been able to tell even without the letters. Those might have creeped her out, or they might not, but you came across as an easy catch should she decide to go for you. Which would mean that it wouldn't be that challenging (read: interesting) for her to do so.
Later, you're away from that school for a while. Not even there. Then you come back and largely ignore her. Now thoughts like "he had a big crush on me but now he doesn't even look at me, does he still like me or not?" go through her mind and you have this level of unattainability and intrigue about you to her.
Just a thought as to why she may have changed her mind.
Yeah...this is probably a big part of whats happening. You should use this to your advantage with her. And in the mean time, keep on finding other girls to ask out.
Yea. I can understand what you guys are saying and something tells me it might be that she can't easily have me anymore. But as for the letters I mentioned, one was an apology for my exfriends actions (it wasn't anything bad and I just showed that it was not tolerable to do something like that to anyone. Pretty formal and to the point really)from earlier and the other was asking to get to know her alittle bit. So I did ask her to get to know her but obviously she declined so I haven't really had a chance to get to know her other than being in almost all of her classes the first year I knew her.
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