Some time ago I bought one of those hypnotherapy CDs that are supposed to help you move on from a broken relationship. It used white noise - and, supposedly, subliminal messages. I ended up having a really strange and unpleasant dream after listening to it, so I don't know what the content of the subliminal messages actually was .
In another thread on this board, Grinning Maniac mentioned the film "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I haven't seen it, but understand the character played by Kate Winslet undergoes a psychological experiment whereby all memories of her ex boyfriend are erased. It sounds great - both the film and the concept.
Would anybody consider undergoing a course of hypnotherapy to remove all thoughts of their ex? On a board like this I'm sure it's been asked before, but I haven't seen any threads on it. It seems like a possible solution to the problem of not being able to move on - after all, properly applied hypnotherapy can help people to stop smoking and to lose weight. Why don't we hear more about it being used to stop people dwelling on broken relationships?
Because it just doesn't work all that great. Hypnosis just a way of enhancing the will-power or thought processes that are already there. It's kind of hard to will yourself NOT to THINK about something. "do not think about chocolate, do not think about chocolate...." You have to divert. In my book you'd be just as likely to have success keeping a journal and coming up with a set of affirmations to think of whenever your mind drifts to your ex, just to get you thinking about other things you want for your future, thinking more positively, etc.
Originally posted by magda
You have to divert. In my book you'd be just as likely to have success keeping a journal and coming up with a set of affirmations to think of whenever your mind drifts to your ex,
Probably works out cheaper too. Still, I can't help thinking about a hypnosis performance held at my student union years ago. How on earth do you get someone to eat an onion and genuinely believe they're eating an orange? That's pretty powerful mind control.
Making someone do something is one thing. Making someone forget something is totally different. I dare say totally improbable and possibly dangerous too - they can't actually disect in there and erase only what you want, can they?
The concept is pretty old, I remember an old Toto hit, with the greatest ofclips, of a guy who wanted to erase the memory of his gf.
Lindya, no matter how dreadful and horrible your relationship with your ex was, you must accept it. It's made you whom you are right now. I know that at the moment, all you see in useless pain and misery and probably don't feel like anything accepting or analysing it.
At least learn to live with it. Learn to live with yourself and with the memory of your ex. IT's the sane and safe way to deal with stuff of this sort.
Thanks Curly. I really thought I was over it - but several weeks ago one of our mutual friends told me that he (the ex) had been asking after me and feels really sad about the way things ended between us. He'd like to meet up to try to apologise properly and explain why what happened happened. No co-incidence, I suppose, that he recently broke up with the girl he cheated on me with.
Hearing that he wants to meet up with me brought him right back into my mind - hence the desire to make him just vamoose. I feel a bit p.d off with the friend who told me he'd been asking about me as we'd agreed that he was a closed topic of conversation, but he asked her to speak to me so I suppose she felt in a bit of a tricky spot.
Part of me is really tempted to meet up and hear what he has to say - but I know it wouldn't resolve anything, and I'm determined not to do it. I heard all the reasons when we broke up, and unpleasant as they were I'm pretty sure they were more genuine reasons than any new improved ones he might have up his sleeve. Typically he wasn't at all interested in getting in touch and talking things through when I really could have done with it, but that now things are going better for me he suddenly thinks I need to hear his explanations.
Anyway, you're right - I suppose I did learn a lot about myself from that relationship (not all of it bad either) so it wouldn't be right to just rub out all memory of it.
I would be surprised if those CD's were actually effective, but even if they are, there is notable downside to erasing that kind of memory that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind addresses. I won't describe it in detail so as not to ruin the movie for you, but it might behoove you to rent it in the near future.
__________________ I like my coffee like I like my truth: Black. Or white.
I wouldn't erase a thing. I think that every person has been in my life for a reason, including my exes. They have all taught me something about what I want in a person and what I don't. They've also brought a little bit of something to my own life. I hope I take something along from each of them. I have yet to have a horrible, messy break up where mean things were said, so maybe if that happens to me I'll think differently.
I was once hypnotized. I went to a place that did this and they tried to hynotize me. I think they thought I was under, but I was still cognizant of most of the things going on in the room. It was more of a deep relaxation almost meditational feeling. Maybe I didn't go to a very good hynotist....but it really didn't work very well. It was actually a past life regression hypnotist. I mean I guess the thing that did work was I started to see these new images of a life I had had in India (??) where my mother and I were maids (to rich British people). So maybe this was just all in my head....don't know. But I never got to the point where I didn't know what was going on.
I also heard that all cells (including brain cells) in your body change over the course of seven years. I don't really understand how that all works, but I just liked the sound of it.
__________________
"Love many, trust a few, but learn to paddle your own canoe."
[i]Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... I won't describe it in detail so as not to ruin the movie for you, but it might behoove you to rent it in the near future.
I will! Am deeply curious about it now, though I don't think I need any more convincing that the brain-washing exercise would not be a good thing. After all, scrub all the memories and you'd only go making the same mistakes again. Older but not a scrap wiser.
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