[Jtizzle]

Would you rather be FEARED or LOVED in life?


Honestly if i had to choose, i think i would go with what most gangstas would go with and that is to be feared/hated..Now im no gangsta myself, but i choose to say id rather be hated because then it will really open my eyes to keep my enemies CLOSER and ten steps ahead of folks..

I see it like this..you may have a bestfriend, that you THINK loves you, but deep inside them they really despise who you are, and are out to get you..YOU of course let your guard down because you believe they are a real friend to you, and wouldnt do anything to hurt you...whereas if you put enough fear in them, youll be steps ahead knowing that even though they appear to be friendlike, they can be just as bad as an enemy, if not worse... and then in the end if something with them does go down, you would have seen it coming all along..

id rather be hurt by somebody that feared me, or who i consider a enemy than to be hurt by somebody who i love and claims to love me back..thats like killing myself tenfold

sounds like you've been reading machiavelli. Although he phrases the question as which is better in terms of security and power, not as a matter of peronal preference.

What I would most certainly prefer is to be loved. But sadly, all love is fleeting and subject to be stolen by competitive forces. Additionally, I have observed situations where those who are feared, become very attractive to many others (esp the feminine - provided they themselves are not be threatened by the feared one).

put SEXUALLY > if you are feared they will be erotically aroused and want to bear you children, if you are loved they will be platonically affectionate and want you to help raise the feared one's children.

put POLITICALLY > if you are feared, others will recognize your sovereignty and seek alliance with you, if you are loved others will recognize your value and seek to exploit it for labor

i think my political example a bit shaky at this point but there is definitely something there

--R O B J out

[moimeme]

I think the 'feared' option is something that psychologically weak people would choose. If you can't hack the fact that life is tough, you put on a shield of false armour to mask the truth about yourself - that you just can't cut it.

all love is fleeting and subject to be stolen by competitive forces

Untrue, as are all generalizations. If you are capable of sustaining love, then understand you are not the only human capable of doing so. If your selection process is so flawed that you choose people who eventually desert you, that's up to you to fix. Getting bitter is not fixing the situation, it's copping out.

if you are feared they will be erotically aroused and want to bear you children

Perhaps some dysfunctional females will be that foolish. They aren't the majority. Do you see a lineup of women after Saddam? Osama? Oh, yes, Hitler had his Eva but she was a nutjob herself.

if you are feared, others will recognize your sovereignty and seek alliance with you

Only until they can stab you in the back and take over.

There is no point in bemoaning the fact that the dysfunctional people in your life didn't fall for you and stay with you. And it's foolishness to turn against life because that happens. You should be thanking God and all the heavens for rescuing you from these individuals and resolve to learn how to find decent, reasonable humans who are capable of love and committment rather than opting for this bogus philosophy.

[Jtizzle]

I think the 'feared' option is something that psychologically weak people would choose. If you can't hack the fact that life is tough

Like you said YOU THINK that...wanting to be feared doesnt have to mean that psychologically they are weak people from the bat..they could be smart folks who want to stay ahead of the game... I think EVERYONE has a PRICE on which they can be bought to betray someone, be it by lying to them, cheating, stabbing them in the back,or whatever..

If your selection process is so flawed that you choose people who eventually desert you, that's up to you to fix. Getting bitter is not fixing the situation, it's copping out.

Ur right getting bitter is not fixing the situation, but you cant blame it on the selection process..its like caeser and brutus..brut supposed to be his bestfriend. his confidant, his right hand man with the plan, but yet he was the one in meetings to kill his friend..and stabbed him twice "literally"..NOBODY in this entire world has the secret to choosing a GREAT FRIEND, because you have no control over what another person does, or their intentions for being with you. but i will say you can do a process of elimination and add things of your selection process..goes to what i said a few moments ago, everyone has their price to be bought..

all in all, i dont see that a person wanting to be feared as a weak person, i see them as street smart..but everybody has their own thoughts..life experiences shape the way you think, and folks who have/had it easy will think that people who have it hard cant take it and are tapping out and are just plain weak people, which is defianatley not the case..

[R O B J.]

some good tits for my tats from Moimeme. I think the greatest of people are able to generate both emotions in those around them. And no I don't think that fear is requirement for love. The attraction to power is but one type of attraction or love.

for the sake of interesting and fun dialogue (not a personal recommendation) Here is what Niccolo m had to say about love and fear:

LOVE is a link of obligation, which men (humanity) will break anytime they think doing so serves their advantage....
but FEAR.... fear involves dread of punishment, from which there can never be escape.


as prof Dennis Dalton said... not the definition of love you'ld find in a hallmark.

[lindya]

I'd like to teach the world to sing. In perfect harmony. But I'd also like to keep a knuckleduster at hand - just in case I need it.

[moimeme]

some good tits

Thanks. They are rather nice

fear involves dread of punishment, from which there can never be escape

Sure there can be when you murder the punisher. Really not a good plan to inspire fear because fear begets hatred and desire for revenge. Enough fear and hatred and your hind end's cooked. How many dictators you know died of natural causes?

[R O B J.]

well put M. I agree, espescially in the long term. however, it is rare to find that those with the will, and force of personality to successfully murder the punisher, will then choose to use love as their modus operandi. There are exceptions, and they are the truly great people.

But most of us are two weak in one manner or another and as such history is litered with tragic examples of a ruling power being taekn over by the oppressed in the name of liberty and equality, only to have the new power quickly turn even more brutally opressive. See the frencjh revolution, stalinist Russia, the genocide in Rwanda, and on. But I will admit, you canadiens have a rather impressive record of a peaceful and loving development, albeit under the protection of the big punisher just the other side of you southern border.

[moimeme]

Honey, we don't need no protection. Nobody's mad enough at us to want to invade us or terrorize us. There's benefits to being kinder and gentler, see?

[R O B J.]

i have to say, that that's just wishful thinking about needing no protection. The benefits of your guys niceness is that we don't mess with you as much, and mos def would step in if anyone tried to start heavy **** wit you guys. Many of our countries economic interests are very tied together. I'm speaking comletely about politics at this point, I have no doubt as to the security of your personal soverignty as an individual.

Also, when I say we I don't mean to imply any specific agreement or diasgreement with the past and current policies and actions of the US gov. as I am often but not always a dissident in my opinions regarding the US government.

[R O B J.]

re=read Ms last post and now believe my response was too argumentative for her comments.

There is benefit to kind and gentle. But alone, it is an incomplete model of behavior... as is a model of authority through intimidation.

love/hate
goo/evil
white/black
caapiltalism/socialism
offense/defense
yin/yang
cinservative/progressive
bureacracy/anarchy
heads/tails
man/woman
death/life


none exist without the other. I think we all GENERALLY seek to seek to shape the world in a manner which best compliments the manner in which these various balancing elements are arranged in our lives and environment.

[Horse]

I would rather be loved and betrayed than let fear keep me from loving or being loved.

If you never take that risk and let your guard down, you end up living a hollow empty life.

If I am betrayed, I'll get over it. I've been through enough shyte in life to know that I am strong enough to deal with just about anything.

In the end it usually doesn't work that way. Some people fear you; hopefully most people like you and a few grow to love you.

[amerikajin]

It's not the right question to ask.

There's a time to be a devil, a time to be an angel. Wisdom is in the timing.

[PatientOne]

I'd rather be respected.

[Pocky]

I'd rather just live my life than worry about whether or not people loved me or worshiped me or feared me or hated me.......