Split from the cheating ex-wife over a year and a half ago. About a year before we split, I got the vague idea into my head that I'd like to get a tattoo. Shortly after we split, I started thinking more about it, and even found the design: a stylized phoenix. Something about the death/rebirth imagery really appealed to me -- I purposely chose something uplifting and inspirational.
Anyway, the divorce order came through on the 9th. And today, I finally got the tattoo, on my upper arm. Totally not something I envisioned myself ever doing (mind you, getting divorced wasn't something I envisioned doing either...), especially since I'm phobic about needles. So it also served the purpose of facing a fear head-on.
First 15 minutes was iffy... sweating like a pig, trying to stifle the phobia-induced urge to puke. Then it all subsided, and I sat back and was more or less OK with it. Finished up, and just before the artist put the bandage on it, I got a look, and it looks great.
Guess I'm posting this because I've never done anything like it before (had a pierced ear once years ago, but that's it). I know people frequently get tattoos and piercings after a significant event in their lives, like loss of a loved one, birth of a child, etc. I know what my own mentality and view on the subject is, and I'm glad I did it. Anybody else ever been inspired to do it at the time of a divorce? Just curious.
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See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood, all the colours came out.
-- U2
Last edited by reservoirdog1; 14th May 2005 at 7:54 PM..
Yeah, I got the cartilage in my upper ear pierced right after my ex-husband and I split up (I'm tame, so to me, even that garden-variety piercing was a big deal). I remember thinking that there was something really satisfying about carrying a mark of that transformation on my body. I'm still thinking about a tattoo. . . .maybe after the next breakup/divorce/whatever.
Married 18 years same guy. 2 kids together. He had been gone about 4 months in February. My sister took my boys snow skiing and I got my belly pierced! ! ! No tattoos or other unusual piercings for me. Pretty unadventurous.
It was my step toward becoming myself. Still haven't filed for D but plan to REAL soon!
I got my navel pierced when I left my ex husband, and a tattoo when I left my ex boyfriend. I just left the bastard for the second time and I've already booked an appointment with my tattoo guy
I think the significance is the tangibility. I get lost in a sea of emotion and confusion when I have to end painful relationships. When I felt the pain of the piercing and the tattoo, it was a reminder of all the pain I've been through, but in the end am left with something beautiful.
And I agree with westernxer's "moral of the story". Not to diminish your friend's pain, dude, but that was hilarious (or more so how you wrote the story)!
Did the exact same thing, it was my first as well, but I didn't wait for my divorce to be final. I did it for a few reasons. Mainly I was finally able to make decision for myself without having to consulting anyone or care of their opinion.
For you, your Tattoo symbolized rebirth. Mine, symbolized the building of something that was once great.
I didn't get a tattoo when my GF and I broke up, but I did get an eyebrow piercing. I also put my earrings back in, and got my hair cut shorter than I've had it since sixth grade. My ex, ironically, thinks it's the sexiest look I've had. Unfortunately for her, a lot of girls think it's the sexiest look I've ever had.
Anyway, I think it's normal to want to change your appearance a bit. You should PM me a pic of your tattoo. I want a tattoo, but until I see somethting that I feel defines me well enough to have it permanently inked on my body. I have a good friend who got a tattoo when his older brother was killed in a motorcylce wreck that matched a one that his brother had because, when they were kids, they said they'd get a tattoo together when they were older. I never pictured my friend getting a tattoo, but I don't think I could've imagined anything more appropriate than a permanent memorial displayed proudly on his body. In a way, that's similar to what you're doing. It's a memorial, and it's a step in the grieving process in this case.
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Shhhhh... you had me at "get lost"
There is no art to lying. Telling a fib is easy. To make the truth interesting is magical.
I got my naval piereced a couple of weeks after I knew things were going to end (My ex says that was when he knew it was over).
Funny... a few months before the shyt came down, my XW mentioned that she wanted to get that done too. As far as I know, however, she never did. Guess other things got in the way for her...
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