[joshuamathew]

I have a tough relationship with a girl i've been with for 8 months now. It started off great she agreed with all my views and we never argued for the first couple months. But as time went on she started disagreeing with my views on things. She was in an abusive relationship with her previous boyfriend he verbally and physically abused her, he cheated on her. He was her first love and she cheated on her next two boyfriends with him. She still talked with him on the phone when she got with me and i didnt like this naturally because he's a jerk and she cheated on her last two boyfriends with him ya know? So i told her i didnt want her talking to him anymore because he asked her to have sex with him while we were going out and she said she wouldnt and i thought that would be the end of it. Well, one day i had a suspision she had been going behind my back to talk to him so i checked her call history and sure enough she had dialed and recieved calls to his number. I talked to her about it and she denied lieing to me and said she never said she wouldnt talk to him anymore. So she continued to text and talk to him on the phone until one day told her he would give the money he owed to her if she had sex with him. Then she finally stopped talking to him. I feel i have grown insecure because she has cheated with him and the past and i fear it will happen again. I think she doesn't talk to him anymore but i still have that fear because she lied to me in the past. Sometimes i feel dumb and controling because i get mad when she talks to certain people just in fear that she'll hurt me.
I know alot of my feelings are invalid but it's hard to let the fear go. Also i feel that she's very immature because she shuts down when i talk to her about things, i don't cuss at her, i dont raise my voice i just try to talk calmy and lovingly but she still gets defensive and makes excuses and denies everything. I just feel like i'm doing all the work in the relationship.
We love eachother very much and wanna stay together but we find ourselves unhappy. The plot thickens.... we found out last month that she's pregnant and this has just caused more stress and makes us fight even more. What should i do?!

[New_Wife]

Oh my. Talk to your mother, sister or some other mature woman in your life that is not your girlfriend about this situation. Most women right there will see what is going on with another female - when you do not. Just like you can tell when a guy is movin in on your lady or behaving poorly.

I'm sorry for your pain. If you do have & raise this child, whether together or apart, remember that the child didn't lie down, create itself, and ask to be born. Sometimes, when adults go sideways in a relationship, they forget that little detail.

[st8toftheheart]

As the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater.

Well, with some exceptions. She doesn't seem like the type of person who is putting much effort into things. Kind loosy goosy. So my fear is when she has had enough, she'll cheat again, giving her an out of the relationship.

I get the sense that's her MO.

You don't need that kind of grief.

One thing I always find is people saying is "We've been togther for X long." Which seems to be the primary reason to stay to gether and work it out. So what? Its not a bank account. You can't drawn upon that later on. You have to look to the here and the now, so if she's closing you off, lieing to you, that should be enough to help you along your way.

Either things changes or you can close that account.