1. The love of your life telling you "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" and breaking things off abruptly, or...
2. Finding out they are dating someone less than a few weeks after your breakup?
In regards to #2, I think THAT is had something to do with #1......
Thank the Lord for NC. Stick with it, folks. No good comes from trying to hold on to someone that doesn't want to be in your life....
I think they both are both equally hurtful and damaging.
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The male brain is more compartmentalized than the female brain. Men can seperate things whereas women have a harder time cause their brains are all wired together in some inter-connected mish-mosh.
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I think they go hand in hand...
If the person wasn't IN Love with you to begin with.. then of course it won't bother them to move right along so to speak.. but I guess it also brings into question if the person even cared aboutcha as a friend.. the ****ers! LOL
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Don't be mad at me when I'm mad at you.
i also think they both go hand in hand but what sucks more is you ex telling you they are dating someone new because of you but they still love you and want to be with you
I'm firmly convinced she was hanging out with this other guy before she broke things off with me. She must have some good feelings about him, enough to break things off with me. I wouldn't doubt it if she was dating him at the same time she was dating me. It wouldn't be the first time.
I truly believe in KARMA....and I wouldn't wish anything bad on her, but if she gets hurt, she better not come running to me for solace....
The whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" is damaging on so many levels: the type of slap that not only stings, it breaks bones. It broke me down some years ago.
It hurts because you allow yourself to pin so much hope on the "I love you" part, that you are blinded to what "not in love with you" really means. You live in a lie, and afterward are hurt further by the acceptance that you deluded yourself into living that lie so that you could 'happily' hold on to the other person. I remember being infuriated when the realization came that not only was I begging for crumbs, I was savoring them like a fine steak dinner and dessert.
Being held up to someone else and being found lacking is a sting, but being told that you are just not good enough to be 'in love with' - period - is a crushing blow. It is so much easier to take the "not in love with you" blow when you find out that it is happening as a direct result of another person's interference in your relationship. When you hear "I'm not in love with you", and there is no 'other person' you have no one left to point fingers at, and are left holding nothing but your partner's perceptions of your inadequacy as a romantic partner.
Brutal.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
The whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" is damaging on so many levels: the type of slap that not only stings, it breaks bones. It broke me down some years ago.
It hurts because you allow yourself to pin so much hope on the "I love you" part, that you are blinded to what "not in love with you" really means. You live in a lie, and afterward are hurt further by the acceptance that you deluded yourself into living that lie so that you could 'happily' hold on to the other person. I remember being infuriated when the realization came that not only was I begging for crumbs, I was savoring them like a fine steak dinner and dessert.
Being held up to someone else and being found lacking is a sting, but being told that you are just not good enough to be 'in love with' - period - is a crushing blow. It is so much easier to take the "not in love with you" blow when you find out that it is happening as a direct result of another person's interference in your relationship. When you hear "I'm not in love with you", and there is no 'other person' you have no one left to point fingers at, and are left holding nothing but your partner's perceptions of your inadequacy as a romantic partner.
Well she just called me. I know the guy she is dating. Don't know him that well but she said she just started going out with him a few weeks ago. But I do know she had been talking to him for some time at her Church. He's a Christian (something she wanted) and he also rides sport bikes (so does she).
She wants to remain friends but I think that's going to be hard to do. NO CONTACT is the best option for me. If her walls come crumbling down with this guy, then guess who she'll want to come running to?
Originally posted by ConfusedInOC
Well she just called me.
That's just stupid. Why does she call if the frickin relationship is over? She's stringing you along...can't you see this??? Tell her to quit calling, cut out all contact with her. She's out of your life now and will do nothing but continue to hurt you on a daily basis until you cut out all contact!
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