[mary77]

I need to know if I need to leave my husband or if my view of things is being complicated by being Bipolar.

My husband had been laid off twice, and during both times of very long, doing nothing but searching LOLITA and teenie bop porn, I was working overtime to attempt to pay the mortgage, taking care of our baby daughter, filling out Medicaid applications, screaming at him to get off his ass and look for a job. This was his day for months, wake up, look at porn, jack off, eat, sleep, go to band practice, then come home and sit in a chair while I screamed about being a responsible husband and father.

He finally found a job and I thought things were better until I found LOLITA on the computer again. I have a baby daughter and my husband is looking at 13 yr olds along with regular adult porn. I found out after we were married he was "dating" a 16 yr old and he was 25. His former roommate swears nothing "happened" between them. He said she used him to make her high school ex jealous for two weeks.

That was when I was admitted to the psych ward at the hospital for psychosis (I think I had a nervous breakdown to the point of ending my life) and that was when I was given meds for Bipolar Disorder. After 4 days in the ward (BTW my mother came and rescued my daughter a few hours after I was admitted) the caseworker told me I had to confront my husband about his problem. He came into the office, I told him the reason why I was there, he ADMITTED HE HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM and said he would stop.

OK, several months later, no illegal porn at all. He's doing well at work, has received several promotions and has a wonderful reputation as an honest, dependable worker. When I pleaded with him to quit the band, he did. Then he started a small music recording operation with a friend of his so we won't be so tight on cash every month. He's gone 3-4 nights a week until 11PM at night. I'm paranoid. What if he's doing something wrong away from home, I can't trust him, not with his history.

But now, instead of staring off into space when I grill him about things, he stands up to me. His argument is he's done everything I've asked of him, he's happy with the recording business and will not quit, and says I'm controlling him.


I'm in therapy and taking Wellbutrin and Trileptal, it has helped me cope, but I still cannot trust him completely....Guys, am I considered a psychotic bitch? or do I have a valid reason to be on medication? or some of both.

[ConfusedInOC]

So far I don't see what he's done that would cause you to not trust him. This is one of those cases I'll side with the hubby. He's given up the porn, got a job, quit the band, started a side business doing something he loves (fyi, people with hobbies they love are usually good at them and end up sometimes making successful businesses out of them)

Learn to trust him and you'll probably be happy. Your suspicion is making him uneasy and I think his standing up to you is a sure sign that if you don't change your behavior, maybe he will leave you.

There are no happy marriages without trust....