I met this girl about a month ago. We hit it off immediately and started hanging out several times a week. We've been seeing each other for the past month, exclusively, however I'm not happy with the way things are progressing.
She came out and told me on the first date that she is a virgin, which is fine. She says that she is not waiting for marrage, just the right guy. She has had 2 long-term relationships, both lasting a year and a half, so she does have experience with guys. We've talked about making it official, but we both want to move slow.
It's been a month already, and I haven't even touched her breasts. All we do is kiss, alot, but she doesn't seem to be very comfortable with anything else. We went back to her parents house to watch a movie, and she pretty much lied on the opposite end of the bed from me. Her parents are overly protective and call 500 times a night when we are out, and she always has to be home early. Normally, I'd be having great sex with a woman a month into the relationship. I want to have a talk with her about how things have kind of stahled, but I don't want to come off as being shallow or non understanding.
Can anyone give me some advice on how to bring this topic up and what I should say so that I don't push her away?
Honestly, I wouldn't say anything. If she's not doing anything with you, it's because she doesn't want to or she's not ready. She's a virgin. The first time I had sex with a guy, I waited six months. The first time my friend had sex with a guy, she waited a year. It takes time, if she's not ready she's not ready.
A month into a relationship, yeah you might be having great sex with a girl, but was that girl ever a virgin? If you're not a virgin you don't wait as long to have sex, at least that's been my experience. Besides, a month is really not that long of a time. I dated a virgin a couple months ago and we dated for two months and we didn't do anything besides kiss, because he wasn't comfortable with it.
So unless sex is an ultimate for you, I would wait a little longer to ask her why she doesn't want to be intimate. But only a month into the relationship? I wouldn't worry about it.
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I agree with Jilly. Take your time and let her move forward on her terms. When I first started dating my now wife, we dated 3 months before we had sex and I was 26 at the time and her 25....neither of us were virgins either. If you really like this girl then just respect her position. Trust me you will get further faster if you don't push! And the last thing you want is for her to regret having sex with you because she wasn't ready and just gave in to your pressure. Slow down, the rest will happen in due time.
Originally posted by Forget About Her
I'm not happy with the way things are progressing.
She came out and told me on the first date that she is a virgin, which is fine. She says that she is not waiting for marrage, just the right guy. She has had 2 long-term relationships, both lasting a year and a half
well, you knew what you were getting into when you started dating her, and that you would have to wait, more than likely at least a year and half, seeing as it lasted that long with two other guys that she still didn't sleep with.
if you're not willing to let her go at her own pace, it won't work out for either of you. decide which is more important to you, respecting her feelings because you like her, or a quicker and more convenient lay..still because you like her.
keep in mind that she obviously cares about her virginity. as much as she may like you, you have been together a very short time. she has been in longer relationships than that with guys who DID respect her decision, and those relationships, which were more than 10 times longer than yours, still didn't work out. she is probably being even more careful now, thinking "if it doesn't work out sometimes after over a year, why should i give it up after a month! no way!"
good luck. i hope it works out for both of you in a way which neither of you regret.
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Bro, you knew this going in that she's patient and will wait a long time. You seem more concerned with how to get your hands on her goodies than you are with respecting her feelings. To me, that tells me you're thinking with the wrong head.
Be yourself.
Don't push her.
If it happens, it happens. But DO NOT pressure her, don't change who you are you, just hang out and have fun. You have your entire life ahead of you to get someone knocked up
Well, if it is something that is important to you RIGHT NOW, move on.
If you're willing to wait, then wait. It'll be her call when why and how. It took me a year and a half to have sex the first time. I tell you, I put my boyfriend through hell on the way there, also. Very many close calls and then I would back out because I was afraid / nervous / scared.
Also, not every having HAD sex, I was not as needing of it either for that matter. So I didn't know what I was missing, so to speak. We also fooled around a lot in other ways first as well.
To the original poster, I think your user name is incredibly telling. I don't think you really care about this girl's feelings, just about getting laid. If you're usually getting the nooky within a month of dating a girl, you obviously don't value sex to be something as special as she believes it to be. There's something very Stiffler about you, me thinks. Move on.
Personally, it take me at least 3-4 month before evening considering waiting to sleep with someone. If they are ready and I am not oh well. It my right not to sleep with them.
I made that mistake by jumping into bed too soon and I paid dearly for it.
So if you're the right guy she'll be with you, if you're not you'llfind out soon enough.
So what have you done to prove you're the right guy, that you're any different than the last two relationships she been in.
Kudos to you you've been able to sleep with women a month into it. Are you still with him. You think she wants to feel like another conquest?
try to see it from her side, if she's the one she's worth waiting for, then it will happen.
It doesn't make her a "conquest" necessarily because he is keen to share himself physically. Just different people at different stages, different needs.
I think some are more comfortable introducing sex earlier than others, and obviously someone who is a virgin will not be.
Originally posted by KissMyTiara
To the original poster, I think your user name is incredibly telling. I don't think you really care about this girl's feelings, just about getting laid. If you're usually getting the nooky within a month of dating a girl, you obviously don't value sex to be something as special as she believes it to be. There's something very Stiffler about you, me thinks. Move on.
i'm pretty sure since the name "forget about her" was registered in february, it has nothing to do with the girl he is with now. he has only been with her for a month.
Quote:
Originally posted by scarlyjones
If I was starving, I wouldnt move to Ethiopia.
hahahahahahahahahaha good one, scarly.
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 6th May 2005 at 5:28 PM..
Reason: removed reference to deleted post
Originally posted by clynn
Hey, I wouldn't be so hard on him.
If he is ready for a sexual relationship, and she is not, it doesn't make him a jerk. Just in a different place with different needs.
I didn't mean to imply he's a jerk...don't know if he is or not. What I meant to say is that he has a different view of sex than she does, and because maintaining her virginity is important to her, but not to you, that you should move on.
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKitten
I'm pretty sure since the name "forget about her" was registered in february, it has nothing to do with the girl he is with now. he has only been with her for a month.
"Forget About Her" is more about the personality behind the poster, don't ya think, "Sex Kitten"?
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