[crazychick]

I have a real problem with confrontation. I mostly avoid it at all costs. I don't know if its the desire for people to like me or what but it's there and I acknowledge it. I am going to a therapist and have been working it out, but it's going to take time since its a nice pattern that I have developed for about 29 yrs.

So. The ex, who I am not over yet, keeps randomly calling me. I think it's maybe his way of trying to be friends, but honestly I can't right now. It's been about 2 months, but I still get all jumpy and stuff when he calls. I miss him, I dream about him all the time, etc. I still have so many feelings that everytime he calls me its like putting salt in these open wounds. I get all freaked out and then I just think about him even more for the next couple of days. Its so hard and I hate it.

How do I tell him this without sounding pathetic?

[alphamale]

send him an email and state clearly in it that you wish to be in NC mode for a while, for example 3 months. if he still contacts u then don't answer or respond.

[ltomlinson81]

Don't put a time limit on it. Tell him not to contact you and that you will call him if and when you are ready.

[agnf666]

The next time he calls you just don't answer the phone. Just stop talking to him all together. So, then you develop NC. So, then you can go on with your life and not think about him so much.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by crazychick
I have a real problem with confrontation. I mostly avoid it at all costs. I don't know if its the desire for people to like me or what but it's there and I acknowledge it. I am going to a therapist and have been working it out, but it's going to take time since its a nice pattern that I have developed for about 29 yrs.

So. The ex, who I am not over yet, keeps randomly calling me. I think it's maybe his way of trying to be friends, but honestly I can't right now. It's been about 2 months, but I still get all jumpy and stuff when he calls. I miss him, I dream about him all the time, etc. I still have so many feelings that everytime he calls me its like putting salt in these open wounds. I get all freaked out and then I just think about him even more for the next couple of days. Its so hard and I hate it.

How do I tell him this without sounding pathetic?

My ex has the same problem. She hates confrontation or any type of heated debate. She doesn't understand that getting your true feelings out there IS proper communication and is essential for a healthy relationship.

For now, just tell him that you need some space to work things out and ask him to be patient.

[RecordProducer]

Just spit the words out of your mouth! You'll see how great you'll feel after that. You can also write down what you have to say and read it.