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EX who broke up with me is really pushing the "be friends" idea

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Old 4th May 2005, 5:44 PM   #1
wow
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EX who broke up with me is really pushing the "be friends" idea

i have an ex of 1 month and 2 weeks. I ignored her calls, txt msg, aim for a month and then she started calling from friends phones and getting hold of me. When we do talk i wiggle my out of the call by stating i am very busy and need to do things. She complains that i do not anwser her calls and reply to her messages.

Then today out of no where she just rocks up at my place. I do not allow her into my place but i do go outside to find out why she is here. I told her that she should call before coming over. She forced the issue of coming inside by getting angry and very aggresive towards me, she even said that she will rub me and make me feel better seeing that i have the flu. MAnipulative woman.
After being denied access she leaves the gift she got me at my door and leaves shouting.

Hours later she says I can see you dont want to be friends and that i am mean, rude and incapable of appologising for not letting her in my place.

Excuse me but if we break up is it not over, i mean everything friendship and contact alll together?

HELP ME OUT HERE
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Old 4th May 2005, 5:49 PM   #2
Teag
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just curious, but is there a reason why you don't want to be friends? I've always stayed friends w/ my ex's. Just curious but anyways instead of ignoring her TELL her you don't want to be friends, let her know why you don't want to be friends w/ her anymore.
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Old 4th May 2005, 5:52 PM   #3
sunshinegirl
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babyblu, how on earth have you stayed friends with your exes? Were you the dumper? Were they not intense relationships? Did you or they take ANY time apart to get over the breakup? It's way too painful to me to try to be friends w/ my ex...what--and watch him date other ppl? No thanks!
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Old 4th May 2005, 5:53 PM   #4
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Oh and WOW, you're doing the right thing by trying to keep her out of your life so you can move on! It's incredibly selfish of her to get upset with you.
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Old 4th May 2005, 5:56 PM   #5
ltomlinson81
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When the dumpER wants to be friends it is because they no longer have romantic feelings toward the other person and they truly want to be friends. When the dumpEE wants to be friends, it is because they are trying to hold on to a small part of the relationship - possibly to create a chance to get back together in the future.

Which one are you? The dumpER or the dumpEE? Then you will have your answer.
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Old 4th May 2005, 5:56 PM   #6
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I dont know how you can be friends with somebody who you want so much more from? It just doesn't work in my book. I would love to be friends with my ex and that is what she said she wanted but could you honestly handle it if that person started telling you about their new partner? I know I couldn't!!!

PS Angel your quote "live fast die young, leave a good looking corpse" was by James Dean not Mr Mojo Risin'
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:00 PM   #7
Teag
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babyblu, how on earth have you stayed friends with your exes? Were you the dumper? Were they not intense relationships? Did you or they take ANY time apart to get over the breakup? It's way too painful to me to try to be friends w/ my ex...what--and watch him date other ppl?



I was both the dumper & dumpee. We did take breaks from each other but we always ended up talking & remained friends. I'm even friends w/ one or two of my husbands ex's.
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:01 PM   #8
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Stick to your guns, you're doing the right thing.
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:02 PM   #9
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stay away from this krazy biotch and institute total NC.
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:22 PM   #10
wow
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Well she dumped me and that could be true that she just wants to be friends.

She was so upset that i did not let her in that she was saying which girl is inside constanly.

I think she wants to be friends until she meets someone else or because later on down the line i will still be there waiting for her.

I dunno but will think abut it tonight and get back to yall.
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:27 PM   #11
alphamale
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wow

Quote:
Originally posted by wow
Well she dumped me and that could be true that she just wants to be friends.
if u want her back WOW then you MUST institute total NC for a number of months so that she misses you and reconsiders. then she may come crawling back on her hands and knees.
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Old 4th May 2005, 6:29 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by wow
Well she dumped me and that could be true that she just wants to be friends.

She was so upset that i did not let her in that she was saying which girl is inside constanly.

I think she wants to be friends until she meets someone else or because later on down the line i will still be there waiting for her.

I dunno but will think abut it tonight and get back to yall.
Back to my poem! I should post it in my tag line:

So be my friend
And like a Marionette on a string
I'll have you close
When I need a fling
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Old 4th May 2005, 8:22 PM   #13
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I don't see why she cares so much. It sounds like you dumped her, and she's not taking the hint... but she dumped you, so it doesn't make sense. Next time she gets ahold of you, give her two options:

1) If she's not leaving you alone because she wants you back, let you know and maybe you can work something out

2) if she doesn't want to be together, leave you alone, or you'll be forced to file a restraining order

That is, of course, if you want her back. Otherwise, simply give her option two.
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Old 4th May 2005, 9:09 PM   #14
morrigan
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It doesn't matter what her motives are--they're absolutely out of line, if you have asked her to leave you alone.

Make it clear you don't want any further contact with her, and notify all your friends/family you don't want them giving our your number or providing her with information about you. Change your number if you have to. Ignore every call, IM, or email. Keep everything she sends you, but don't respond in any way.

If she attempts to visit or force her way in your residence again, call the police. Hopefully she will get the drift and stop this crap.
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Old 4th May 2005, 9:22 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by ConfusedInOC
So be my friend
And like a Marionette on a string
I'll have you close
When I need a fling
I like that! Her aggressiveness definitely suggests to me she wants to make utterly certain you'll wait around for her. Sounds very manipulative to me.

Friendships can't be one-sided. If you don't want to be friends with her (and I don't think you'd want to be, given her behavior!), she'll simply have to deal with it.
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