[sweeti555]

I just broke up with my long time boyfriend of 7 years after he became a bit abusive. We have a child together who is 1 1/2 years old. I got two restraining orders on him (one in criminal court and one in family court).

My daughter asks for him every night and it breaks my little heart that his visitation with her is on hold right now until our first court date. I wanted to do something so that he would know that this is just between him and me and that our daughter was not to be held against eachother. So I sent him some flowers. In the card i wrote it from our daughter saying how she missed him and that it wouldn't be too much longer before they could be together again.

I would first like to know if this is legal. I know that with restraining orders, even the person that filed the restraining order against the other cannot have any contact with the perpetrator. When i sent him the flowers I didn't realize that perhaps this would be me contacting him eventhough in my heart it was from our daughter. I certainly wouldn't have spent 75 bucks on him for flowers if we didn't have a child together and she didn't miss him so much.

Is this really wrong and what could happen to me about this?

~Confused chick in upstate NY...

You broke the restraining order.
The way the court will look at it is you were acting as an agent for your daughter.
You should not have sent them. You have (2) restraining orders against him.
If he contacts you because of this he can go to jail.
If you had wanted to do something like this you should've contact your or his attorney.

[NTB]

well your heart was in the right place but as you know you can't have any contact with him and this could be something to give him an opening to seek contact from you....hopefully nothing will come of this and he will just realize that it is from his daughter but don't send anything else

as far as legal is concerned i think you might be giving him ammo for getting this restraining order removed since you did contact him but just to make sure you should call a law office they might be able to give u more info on this

[Craig]

It's most likely legal since you said the RO's were against him but it all comes down to what the RO's say. Do the RO's say that you are not to have any contact with him?

Whatever you do don't encourage your ex to violate the RO's by inviting him over to see his daughter or something like that. A violation is a violation and if the authorities find out he'd be in deep *****--even if you invited him.

[blind_otter]

He can use that as evidence that you broke the emergency protective order (what precedes a restraining order, b/f the court date). I was order to have no contact with my ex after the EPO. He is not to respond to your letters, even if you ask him to, otherwise he can get taken into custody. Better to not tempt him unless you want him in jail.

[faux]

If this man can prove that the flowers and note came from you, he could probably blow your case right out of court; you did contact him. If he can find a good defense attorney, he might make a lot of people ask the question: "Why would she send him flowers and a note, if she filed two restraining orders against him, supposedly wanting to have nothing to do with him at all?"

Hopefully he cannot prove that you sent the note. The individual representing you in these two cases will have more information on what you can do. I am sure he or she will not be pleased that you wrote a note and sent flowers.

Craig: Restraining Orders (RO's), by nature, dictate that neither party is to have any form of contact with one another. Even Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO's) have the same implication. The TRO or RO does not need to explicitly say that she cannot communicate with this man in any fashion; it is assumed that, since she filed for an order, she wants nothing to do with him.

The ex of one of my friends filed a TRO against him. She told me to pass on a message to him, one of those "word of mouth" deals. Instead of actually passing on the message, we ended up using this in court against her. She was not granted the TRO, and this time was not fined.