[sweetmind20]

i am in dire need of an opinion.

my fiance and i are trying to decide whether to have a reception after the wedding, or not. we both would love to have one but the problem is that we would have a big clashing of the families.

for one, his parents had a bitter divorce and his dad has since married his mistress -so his mom's side and dad's side despise each other and would not want to interact with each other, let alone dance, drink and be merry.

then, both sides of his family are the complete opposite of my family. they are loud and crass and have the tendency to make people uncomfortable.. so they would most likely not know how to interact with my family. i know this from experience.

so taking into consideration that there would most likely be awkward and embarassing silence the whole time.. should i just not have a reception?
i'm torn because i don't know if i can rightly ask people to make a long drive ( about 3 hrs) just for a 20 min. wedding ceremony but we really want our families to be there for the ceremony.

please help!

thanks

sweet

[johan]

My first response is that if you want them there then invite them. Trust them enough to behave themselves and act appropriately. If they don't, it isn't your problem. They are responsible for their own interactions.

Unless you think the risk of violence is very high, then I'd be more careful.

Otherwise, they should be adults about it and suck it up for a day for your sake. It may not be the highlight of their lives, but they should show up out of respect for you.

And the reception is just a party. You should understand if some want to leave earlier because they aren't having fun. Maybe let them know ahead of time that you would understand and that you know the reason why.

[SadAndLonely]

Yeah, I agree with Johan.

For the record, my family is loud and crass. Loud, crass (at times, like family get together when we mock each other to near death), charming, moral, and always able to put people at ease. You can be a loud smartass and still have people love you. It all comes down to the delivery.

[alphamale]

you have two choices here:

a) no reception
b) two smaller receptions, one for each family.

good luck.

[agnf666]

Think about it... You invite them to the wedding and not invite them to the reception. That isn't going to work. You could invite them along with alot of other people. Spread them out, don't sit people next to people you know they will argue with. I think that it might not be that bad because it is your wedding. Hopefully, the adults will act like adults. If you don't invite them there will be a bigger fight and you won't want that to happen on the Happiest day of your Life!!!!!!