[strange love]

Well heres where im currently at since my big melt down.
actually a quick recap. Basically I was entertaining thoughts of suicide, my plans were foiled as my store got unexpectedly busy. Its been pretty steady here lately, which has helped me keep my mind off things. I even went on a few lousy dates. I even got to spend time alone with a female female friend I have an off and on crush on.
Right and my f==king weirdo ex that pushed me over the edge that day has been contacting me again.
I find this all strange and hard to process. I find my self not having feelings for my ex any longer for a few days then suddenly feeling desire for her. And feeling desire for my friend.
I decided yesterday I dont wish to have feelings of desire or love or any kind of romantic feelings for any female whatsoever since it only ever leads to problems.
So I ended up at dinner with my friend yesterday, I just felt like I really wasnt there, I ended up leaving very abruptly. She had invited me to her birthday party which I just dont want to attend. I ended up taking her lunch to work, telling her I wont be coming to her party and she asked why I just waved goodbye and walked out. Then she called me asked whats wrong I said happy birthday and enjoy your food.. I really have to go and I hung up.

I really have to say I feel pretty good about that. I despise the idea about getting close to anyone anymore. And so hopefully this new direction im taking in which I just accept that im going to be alone for the rest of my life. I dont feel
as sad as I once was.

so.. thats where Im at.. my ex contacted me once again, but who really cares..right?
At this point its far too late.

[Marshbear]

I hope you reconsider about going it alone. If we never have loved what have we learned about ourselves and each other? We need friendships and romance to bring us together and find out our purpose. Being alone is very self defeating and the sorrow will eat you up. life was made to share with others. If your parents felt as you where would you be? It is your choice but I hope you don't let one person spoil the rest of your life. Is she really worth it?

Be happy for you....

[strange love]

I see my logic has failed the translation

lets put this into laymans terms

1. strangelove has big bussiness to look after
and people counting on him to provide it

2. hormonely unbalanced females cause stress and mental anguish

3. removing the bad influence (ie female) frees up more time and energy, that would otherwise be spent on appeasement and being forlorn over females actions

4. Void can be filled by abundant chocolate supplies, and erotic literature.

5. Final solution = strangelove happy.

Hmm this has the makings of a selfhelp book, in a bit more stylized version.. need a good title ...hmmm

[blackendangel13]

How about "Voids can be filled with chocolate and erotic literature". Sounds like a great title! I'd read

Strange, to me I see nothing wrong with your approach. You may decide in the future that you want someone, but there is nothing wrong with protecting your heart now. You are taking time out for you and thats pretty much what everyone on this board tells everyone else. Good luck.