[sanne]

told the ex we cant be friends, and for her to never contact me again.

[greenhorn]

Thats great 'Sanne' , whatever happens now will happen for better.

Good Luck

[Marshbear]

Good Job. I know how hard is is to end a friendship but you can't put yourself through it any longer. You are the one hurting and to get past it you need time and distance. Also don't let her guilt influence you. If she feels guilty that is her problem. You don't want her sympathy...

[sanne]

she keeps asking me why I can't just leave things alone and let them run their natural course.

[sanne]

i honestly thought things were coming around this week, when we hung out it was just like old times and the look in her eyes showed that she was interested and having a good time. we even kissed and did all of the normal couple stuff. i guess i was filling my own head with false delusions. but you know what i feel good now that i've told her this, i won't be some doormat you can step on or some light switch you can turn on or off.

[sanne]

sometimes i feel like I can never be happy. When i'm with her i'm never totally happy, when I don't have her I'm even worse. I feel like I've totally made the situation worse this past month we all of our fighting and yelling. I have a feeling I may have done things which can never be repaired. I hate how now she may look at me in a different way, that is now how I wanted to be remembered. Gosh if i could only take back the mistakes I made.

[dibdab]

Originally posted by sanne
sometimes i feel like I can never be happy. When i'm with her i'm never totally happy, when I don't have her I'm even worse. I feel like I've totally made the situation worse this past month we all of our fighting and yelling. I have a feeling I may have done things which can never be repaired. I hate how now she may look at me in a different way, that is now how I wanted to be remembered. Gosh if i could only take back the mistakes I made.

I feel like that right now, i have spoken to my ex twice in the last two days, BIG MISTAKE. I should have just stuck with no contact. I guess the good thing to come out of all of this is that the more i talk to her the more i know that i want her out of my heart. I can't get my head around how she can get with someone so soon after we broke up. This is what is killing me and i keep stupidly trying to get her to understand. But what is the point when even if she did understand all i would get is pity. It is a no win situation and i need to stop torturing myself. I just don't know how.

[Marshbear]

Why are you punishing yourself for being you? if you made a mistake then learn from it so you don't repeat it again. We are all human and entitled to mistakes. If she did you wrong then learn from that and decide what you will live with ( in a woman ) and what you won't.

Realize that it takes two to make a relationship/friendship. If you did all you could then don't feel guilty.
Learning can be painful but many times good comes out of despair.