[Lucky Dog]

Do any married members find that they sometimes feel neither ‘in love’ nor ‘hate’ their spouses? Sort of a feeling-less apathy that you really couldn’t care if they stayed in or left the marriage. I’m not saying anything is bad, it’s just a lack of feeling that you want to shower the person with love when they are supposed to be the love of your life, even if you’ve been away for a while and are just seeing them after a few weeks away, or just anytime

[LucreziaBorgia]

Sometimes, but its generally a reflection on my state of mind at that given time rather than a problem with Mr. B or the marriage. It doesn't happen often at all though. I know he feels that way about me sometimes, too. I think its pretty normal to fall into that 'funk' from time to time in long term marriages.

I would assume that if it is something that becomes chronic - or you feel like that about your spouse all the time its either time for a change: if you want to stay married, you may want to consider some individual or marriage counseling to see where this funk is coming from and ways to work on changing those perceptions that cause it. If you don't want to stay married, then its time for a divorce.

Is this something you feel all the time or most of the time?

[faux]

Originally posted by Lucky Dog
Do any married members find that they sometimes feel neither ‘in love’ nor ‘hate’ their spouses? Sort of a feeling-less apathy that you really couldn’t care if they stayed in or left the marriage. I’m not saying anything is bad, it’s just a lack of feeling that you want to shower the person with love when they are supposed to be the love of your life, even if you’ve been away for a while and are just seeing them after a few weeks away, or just anytime

Very frequently people will second guess their relationships or marriages due to a loss of some "feeling". People have a misconception that long-term relationships and marriages are supposed to be filled with romance and passion, and that there should be an ever-present feeling that shows you are with the "love of your life". The world does not work like this. I think it is completely unreasonable to expect that such feelings would last forever. This does not mean that there is anything wrong; lots of people experience this.