hi
It has been great to discover this forum as long distance relationships can be very difficult
I have lived with my boyfriend for one and a half years and I have enjoyed every minute of it but as he is not allowed back into my country we have been long distance for the last 2 years with me visiting him.
the plan is that as my son is getting older (17yrs old now} I can gradually visit him for longer and longer times and eventually go to live there.

My boy friend has a close childhood friend who is married and lives in Germany. All four of us have spent one Christmas together and had good times.
Recently this couple have separated and the wife has gone to live in my boyfriends town with her child where also her mother in law lives. My boyfriend is the only friend she has there so last Christmas when I visited I was quite happy to take her out with us a couple of times as I felt sorry for her as her husband left her. Me and this woman exchanged e-mail adresses and promised to keep in touch

Now here is the problem; My boyfriend is the only friend she has so far and they go out every weekend and occasionally also midweek.
What is weird that in the beginning my boyfriend was supporting his friends decision in leaving her but now he started to say unkind things about his friend and also everytime he calls me he brings this woman into the conversation and sometimes he puts her down saying what a chore it is to have to take her around and other times saying what good times they are having.

Also I have e-mailed the girl as we agreed to keep in touch but she has not replied and this kind of worries me that she may have an agenda
I have asked my boyfriend to encourage her to be more independent and also asked him to remind her to e-mail me and keep in touch as I would feel a lot better if she did I suppose because that is what I would do in her position, but so far nothing has changed
I have no problem with my boyfriend helping her to make friends and taking her around time to time and I am not normally posessive.
I would like to e-mail her but I am not sure what to say to her as it could all be innocent.
what do you think?

I know what to do now. This is something that me and my boyfriend will have to work out between us.