So it has been 11 months since my ex broke up with me. I still hurt but I now accept the fact that we are never going to get back together and in fact I have even gotten to the point where I do not want to get back together with him. I know it will never be the same and I can never trust him again.
So now I feel like I am ready to start dating again, but it is so hard to met guys. I have had a few guys show interest in me, but I am just not interested in them. It seems like all the guys I am interested in are either taken or do not show interest in me. I am a shy girl, and I have never asked a guy out on a date, or made the first move when it comes to this kind of stuff. It is just hard for me, being so shy I feel like if I don't say something then I am going to be single for a long time.
In the past usually guys that I like show interest in me, but lately the only ones that show interest I just don't like.
Should I continue being shy or put myself out there? It is just so hard for me to even call a guy that I'm interested in unless he calls me first. I am just worried that if I don't make the initative then I will be alone for a long time.
I think its something you just have to do. Maybe join a group that youre interested in and start meeting people in general. And when you least expect it, your prince charming will show up.
Why don't you like the guys who are showing interest in you?
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"If you have made mistakes. . . there is always another chance for you. . . You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down but the staying down."
I really admire your commitment, you are posting this thread in " Coping" Section. Seems you don't wanna leave this dear section of ours.
Hey, don't think much and don't worry much, just play it nice and easy and you will have your sweetheart. There wasn't a rule made for real love, just like ***** happens , Love also happens
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Love!!~ WTF is that ???
I was in the same position as you Isabella. My ex broke up with me with no explanation...nothing almost two years ago. I was devastated for months and months. Like you, when I was interested in someone, they weren't interested in me. And not interested in someone who was interested in me. It took me awhile to get out of that slump....but I eventually did. Now I am with someone who is even better than my ex. Also, it happened when I least expected it.
Continue to be yourself, open up a bit more and be a little riskier. That's what I did and now I am with a great guy.
Donut,
I am just not interested in the guys because they are either too young 17-20 or too old over 30. Or I am just not physically attracted to them. I am not too picky but I just want a man who is 22-27, who has goals in life, and who is nice.
Greenhorn,
You are right I should have used another forum. Sorry about that, but thanks for the input about how love just happens.
Innerconflict and Aarsky
Thanks for your input too. I can't help how I am and I am not going to try to stress about it, I know it will happen eventually, it always does.
put yourself out there and show these guys you have interest by making some moves. As a guy it gets frustrating when women act like well, pussies and sit there and wait for a guy to do something. My ex gf was like that even when we were together and it frustrated me that she would be too shy to initiate things with me knowing full well she could.
Here's hoping you find a guy worthy of your time and dont settle for anything less than what you want.
We sound a lot alike...I've been apart from my husband for a little over a year and I've not met anyone that I feel is worth my time. Our separation was mutual and we're still friends, so I know it has nothing to do with him. I get the feelings you seem to be feeling right now every once in a while. Whenever I put myself out there and open up a little, I get hurt. I've not seriously dated anyone in the last year but I have gone out with several people once or twice and that was it. I find something wrong with everyone, whether it's his laugh, his job, his teeth, whatever I can find that I dont' think I'll be able to live with. I concentrate on that thing so much that it drives me crazy and then I drive them away. I have standards and most of the guys I've dated haven't met my standards fully and the ones that did turned out be jerks just looking for sex. I once asked my ex (we're friends) if my standards were too high. He told me not to lower them because I'd never be truly happy, which is 100% true because that is one of the things that happened between the two of us. We can joke about it now though, I told him, I was trading him in and I'm trading up! I wish you luck with this and I'm just going to say what my friends tell me when I get that way...God has a plan for everyone, we can't mess with it and we can't change it...It will happen on His time, not ours. Just be patient!
Originally posted by Isabella82
Greenhorn,
You are right I should have used another forum. Sorry about that, but thanks for the input about how love just happens.
Hey Isabella,
I think you got mifffed by what I had written, agreed it was cynical but chill, I was just kidding. I think being single is a great thing, fun life and alround happiness.
Risk - Uncertainity
Return - payoff whether positive or negative
There is a clever co-relation between risk and return, if you take risk then you might gain more and lose more, but if you don't take risk then the gain or loss would be less but it would be certain.
So I think one should not be greedy so settle for less gain(be single) , rather than take risk (go for partner) for higher gain. IMHO it is never more of gain but more of loss in the second case.Of course it also depends on your Risk Appetite.
I am sure you won't again like what I have written, but it is me, of late I have started liking someone bashing me rather than complimenting me again it's me.
Well you saw my post about my friend and how her ex now wants her back after a year and some months. Not saying that this will happen but like my friend you have to move on. Wheter or not he comes back to you or not. You cannot be stuck in one place forever. The more you get out and start doing things the better chances you'll have in meeting people. But I do understand how it can get hard to meet the right person. Like the one poster said it will happen when you least expect it. I keep that in mind and that keeps me from thinking of being back with my ex. Knowing that there is something better for you out there should give you the motivation that you need. You'll know when you're ready.
I wasn't mad at all. I completely agree with you, and I appreciate your input.
At first I was scared about opening up my heart again....but after some time and healing I have realized that everyone is different. And just because my ex hurt me doesnt mean that other people will, and it doesn't mean that I am not loveable. In love there are no guarantees. Deep down I do want my ex to of course want me back, but I don't see the point in that when I know that it will never work out. I am getting over that too. Of course I have my set backs but I am for sure always moving forward.
Donut,
I am just not interested in the guys because they are either too young 17-20 or too old over 30. Or I am just not physically attracted to them. I am not too picky but I just want a man who is 22-27, who has goals in life, and who is nice.
Ok, was just asking.
I'd say do more of the things that you enjoy, take a few more risks, sign up for a class that interests you, get out with friends as often as possible.
But don't worry too much about it and do more healing in the meantime, do things for yourself that make you happy. Usually people come along when you're not looking too hard.
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