Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Feeling like crap after cheating on the woman I love....
Alright, I am very disappointed in myself and feel that I cant really talk to any of my friends about this, so I figured I would take this route, I hope it helps...
I'm a student, with a girlfriend back home, now I truthfully really love my girlfriend, and I love her enough to marry her. We have been seeing each other for a little over 3 years, and she is absolutely in love with me as I am with her, but I made some terrible mistakes while I’ve been at school:
(1) I cheated on her with a girl I have no feelings for. She was watching a movie with me. We both fell asleep during the movie and when we woke up it happened, and of course the famous words I didn’t mean for it to happen but it didn’t, and it’s killing me.
(2) and, their is this girl here that I do like a little but I definitely don’t feel anywhere the same for her as I do for my girlfriend back home, it happened with her like three times...
Now after saying all this, I must sound a huge a-hole but I feel this overwhelming since of guilt and fear. Guilt because I really love my girlfriend more then anyone else, and fear is because I don’t want to bring anything back with me even though I used protection that fear is still there.
I know I should come clean with her, but I had serious plans of asking her to marry me after my return, we talked about marriage and she would definitely say yes. I can’t really say why I did what I did because back home I have no interest in other girls at all. I really feel like garbage and needed to get this off my chest, I hope I could get some advice and minimal to no vulgar comments, because I feel like crap as it is and I don’t want to feel any worse. Thanks
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 19th April 2005 at 9:19 AM.
Reason: User request.
My bf did the EXACT same thing...he was in Europe for the summer, and he cheated. Said the same thing...they meant nothing...I'm the one he wants to marry, blah blah blah. I also read his emails, and he had some deep infatuation with some girl there. Anyway, the moment he hopped off the plane, he called me.
Now, I wonder how you can TRULY say you LOVE her, yet you had sex, and like some other girl. Sex is one thing, cheating is another. Cheating is a lack of respect for her. And just think to yourself, that while you were out banging some girl, your gf was at home probably thinking of you.
I'm sure you already feel like crap, and while I would like to tell you how shi**y you are, I won't. Definitely come clean with her. The choice to cheat was yours, the decision to stay or go, is ultimately now hers. Please do the right thing.
I foudn out WAY later...and my one resentment was that he didn't tell me right away.
Originally posted by lemon cordial
bubbly thanks for the reply are you and your b/f still together??
Whether or not we made it, shouldnt decide if you tell her or not. It's a case by case basis. My bf and I are together right now...but am I super happy? NO. Do I think about breaking up? YES. DO I want that innocence back, ALL THE TIME.
He and I are slowly realizing that I personally can not overcome that. I've tried to...but I don't seem to be that person that can accept it and grow from it.
Depends on her, depends on the relationship. If she has cheated in the past, maybe she is more inclined to understand...but understanding how "it just happened" is beyond me. As if your boxers magically fell off and she fell on top of you, right?
well, you pretty much have to tell her, especially if you want to marry her, otherwise it sounds as if the guilt will eat away at you.
who is to say she has been faithful whilst you were gone anyways......
get tested too.
__________________ Glitter: The herpes of craft supplies.
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Location: sitting up and driving the Pats band wagon
Posts: 76
You can't look at what she may have or may not have done...That's irrelevant until she brings it up.
Dude, I do hope you feel like crap. It wasn't a one time thing here, you did some girl 3 times! One time, yeah learning experience, okay move on (if you can) but you almost need a 2nd hand to count here...
You aren't in love, cause love demands respect, commitment...And, you'll be the luckiest guy ever if this girl keeps you. Don't sit there and keep the vulgar to the minimum, that's what cowards do. You do any action, you stand up and admit to it as a man would. You stand on your own to feet, whether it's good or bad. And, if that means people say negative things, you take it, cause you've earned it...
I would hope that you tell her...She thinks you are a man that she loves. Right now you do that man thing, say I messed up and made 4 mistakes, I love you and I'll pay for them. Or you lie to her and not tell her. But you wouldn't be lying about not telling her, you'd be lying cause you are still a little boy when she thinks you are a man...
The board is being kind of harsh on you, but is completely correct.
From one man to another, I also have to say that I think you are DOUBLY culpable simply because you are a man. Men are supposed to be in control of themselves at all times (except maybe if your dog dies), and men DEFINATELY cannot plead that they got taken advantage of or were "confused" -- that's like pleading that you're not really that manly.
You can either tell her and live with what reaction she has (because if this relationship is going forward for even 10 seconds, marriage or not, people have a right to know who they are going out with), or you can walk away from the relationship if you want to spare her feelings.
Originally posted by Cecelius
The board is being kind of harsh on you, but is completely correct.
From one man to another, I also have to say that I think you are DOUBLY culpable simply because you are a man. Men are supposed to be in control of themselves at all times (except maybe if your dog dies), and men DEFINATELY cannot plead that they got taken advantage of or were "confused" -- that's like pleading that you're not really that manly.
You can either tell her and live with what reaction she has (because if this relationship is going forward for even 10 seconds, marriage or not, people have a right to know who they are going out with), or you can walk away from the relationship if you want to spare her feelings.
*hit's self in foot with hammer for being so freaking insensitive*
I'm sorry lemon...it's just HARD to feel bad for someone who cheated on someone else. You liked and you sneaked to get what YOU want with no regard for anyone else...until it was all said and done.
If it happened once and you felt like this, I think it could be forgiven...BUT FOUR TIMES!?!?
I don't know how you're going to tell her. She'll be FURIOUS. She'll be devistated. She'll never let you go out of town without her again!
So as far as advice for you goes, I have none. I know you "love" her, but I think you've gone too far.
You need to tell her and beg for her forgiveness, but don't get your hopes up...I doubt that if she has ANY self esteem she'll be keeping you around, when there are millions of HONEST men who can keep their penis to themselves out there.
If you were already married, I'd say you had a chance...but...you're not even engaged!
I'm glad you used condoms and all - but this JUST HAPPENED, but you had rubbers and everything???
Man, I remember being told about my bf's cheating, and it crushed me. I feel horrible for her right now. I can predict how she is going to feel - and when you see her face, you are goign to wish to god you could take it back. But you can't.
Bubbly (well, not so bubbly after reading this. More annoyed with LEMON than anything.)
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