Okay, so I have been studying lately for a really big test I am taking soon. I drive about 20 minutes away from my apt. to go find a place where I won't be bothered or distracted, or see anyone I know.
This girl randomly chooses the table right beside me at the Starbucks I end up at. She chats for a second, but I put my headphones on, and she does her thing.
I take off my headphones 2 hours later to stretch and use the restroom, and she starts chatting again. This time I didnt mind cause I wanted a break anyway. It turns into a 2 hr. sermon about taking Jesus into my life.
I wouldnt describe myself as passive - but I didn't know how to tell her to stop! She went into homosexuality, the bible, etc. I am not homophobic at all - I live in San Francisco (home of the gay marriage!), so it's not something that makes me uncomfortable, but she went off about it! How they are deluded and disgusting, and such. She said a lot more stuff too about how a bible is only $7.00, and how I am going to go to hell without Jesus...and how Satan tempts me all day...
Anyway, I have great respect for all religions, and followers of every faith, but I do NOT appreciate this whatsoever. How do you TACTFULLY tell them to please stop! I couldnt leave even, cause I had to sit there and study.
Oh yea, and I forgot to add that she said Jesus must have sent her to me, because HE probably feels right now that I could use more faith in my life than I have.
She said she didn't mean to end up at the Starbucks yesterday, she just was led there - and I was the purpose...
I tell them to take their bible-thumping to someone who might actually give a damn and if they won't leave I tell them I'm going to call the police because they are harassing me. Or I leave--just turn and walk away.
Been there. Done that.
It went on for 2 hours!!! If you really want to be tactful, just say "I don't have time for this and my soul is just fine, thank you for your concern" and then go back to what you were doing.
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Last edited by HokeyReligions; 8th April 2005 at 6:01 PM.
There is no gay marriage in the United States. Anywhere. Same sex civil unions yes, but no marriage just yet. I know what you meant, though.
Tell her exactly how you feel. If you don't want to hear her talk about such things, just tell her. If you wish she would shut the f- up, and you really want to say that, then go ahead and say so. I think saying something along the lines of, "Listen. I'm not interested in buying a bible, or accepting Jesus into my life, and I think homosexuality is fine. I don't want to listen to you talk about this anymore."
If you wouldn't mind attempting to have non-religious chit chat with her, you might tell her so, but advise her that you'll move away and ignore her if she starts up again.
"I drove twenty minutes away from everyone, away from noise, to study for a very big test. I want to study. I need to study. I don't want to hear about Jesus. Go away." might do the trick; direct, yet not nasty.
So you were basically tortured for 2 hours with this? Ugh
I have had this happen to me too when I was actually very busy and I later wanted to kick myself for not saying something. I felt like I gave them hints by looking at my watch a lot and looking fidgety but they just kept on talking.
All I know is that if this happens to me again I WILL get rude and blunt if I need to. I felt like such a wimp when this happened to me for not saying something.
If this happens again and you want to stay polite just tell them "Hey I appreciate your concern but I'm really busy right now. I have to get back to work now."
I promised myself I would NEVER let myself be tortured with this stuff again....
Hey I appreciate your concern but I'm really busy right now. I have to get back to wo
I kept saying that many times but never worked for me. May be they took you seriously. I would love to learn your way of saying that. Obviously it is not just the words that sent them off.
You must have a great deal of patience, because two hours is a long time. I wouldn't know how to answer your question though because I have trouble walking away from people also.
I had a similar encounter not so long ago, at the hospital where I work as a nurse. I did though have to leave the room after about 15 minutes because i had to make rounds on other patients. It was a visitor who began quoting scripture to me and I pulled up a chair and listened. I don't know the man and I don't know if he's one of God's better representatives or not, however he said one thing which struck me because it was a thing I'd been concerned about on a personal level, and honestly it just did seem to be something I needed to hear.
I do believe God speaks to us in different ways and personally I don't want to fault someone for speaking to a total stranger on the message of salvation. It's not an easy thing to do. Some will listen; some will not. People often didn't care to hear the messages of some of God's most beloved prophets, because they were frequently filled with warnings of what could happen if people did not turn an ear to God.
You were pressed for time, you were frustrated, needed to study, but you were apparently polite and showed great patience, and did stay and listen. Many people would not have, especially for such a drawn out period of time. Maybe it happened for a reason, just as she said....
'Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.'
Hebrews 13:2
I kept saying that many times but never worked for me. May be they took you seriously. I would love to learn your way of saying that. Obviously it is not just the words that sent them off.
I never said that to anyone. I was saying that I wanted to kick myself for NOT saying something when this happened to me. This was just a suggestion or what I would plan on saying if it should happen to me again.
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People often didn't care to hear the messages of some of God's most beloved prophets, because they were frequently filled with warnings of what could happen if people did not turn an ear to God.
Just another way of getting people to conform to their religion. Scare the crap out of them. It's a very useful tactic.
I really think everyone should look up what Freud has said about religion. It's very hard for me to believe that we still go by ancient scripts from our ignorant ancestors. Sometimes I think this species will never evolve as long as we are so bound to wishful thinking of a God who actually cares about us.
I still respect everyone's beliefs but I really do think most people conform to religion out of really strong wishful thinking and this wishful thinking shouldn't be imposed on other people. If they wanted to be religious they would be - no one needs to come up to them and talk to them about it.
YX32Nemesis
I really think everyone should look up what Freud has said about religion.
You should look up what Freud said about women.
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YX32Nemesis
It's very hard for me to believe that we still go by ancient scripts from our ignorant ancestors.
Where would you be without the contribution of our ancestors? You would be picking ticks off a chimp’s back.
More than 2000 years ago, a man named Hero played around with steam power.
Today steam power is our primary source of energy.
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YX32Nemesis
Sometimes I think this species will never evolve as long as we are so bound to wishful thinking of a God who actually cares about us.
I look forward to the contributions of drug-addicted, sex-crazed, and self-indulgent fools. How about the contributions from group orgies?
Have you ever watched apes and chimps on one of those wildlife shows?
I have. I'm about to graduate in a few weeks with a psychology degree so trust me I know all about Freud. Just because he had some questionable things to say about women doesn't mean I can't agree with what he says about religion.
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Where would you be without the contribution of our ancestors? You would be picking ticks off a chimp’s back.
Well DUH Blockhead.
The contribution of our ancestors certainly made us what we are today. BUT I am talking about superstitions here. NOT valuable contributions to technology. One thing that has NOT changed one bit for thousands of years is the old doctrines full of fairy tales and stories. Our ancestors WERE ignorant to a lot of the things we know today. They needed these stories to give meaning to things they did not yet understand. I don't mean ignorant in a really bad sense, but ignorant in the sense that they didn't know any better at THAT time.
I don't understand why we still use SUPERSTITION and MYTHOLOGY from ancient times when we SHOULD know better by now. But, like Freud said...the same fears and insecurities exist today. Re-read what I wrote if you don't understand his point. There are 3 parts to religion (according to Freud). Wanting control over uncontrollable events, justice and compensation for miserable life, and father figure.
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I look forward to the contributions of drug-addicted, sex-crazed, and self-indulgent fools. How about the contributions from group orgies?
Have you ever watched apes and chimps on one of those wildlife shows?
What the ------ are you talking about?!
Like the Christians in this country don't fit under that description?
Originally posted by suegail
People often didn't care to hear the messages of some of God's most beloved prophets, because they were frequently filled with warnings of what could happen if people did not turn an ear to God.
Where's the proof that they were really God's prophets?
Next time it happens, you can try complaining to the store manager that someone is harassing you. Generally in the B&N where I worked for a few years (which had a Starbucks Cafe) - if someone complained to me about some creep following them, or being proselytized to, or making their shopping/coffee experience anything less than pleasant those of us on the management team would not hesitate to ask them to leave. If they didn't, we'd call the police and have them escorted out. We didn't care what their beliefs were - that wasn't the issue: the fact that they are harassing customers (for any reason) is enough to ask them to leave.
I've been lectured about kiddie porn (Jock Sturges books on the shelf), racism (having the Gay and Lesbian section adjacent to the African American issues section), religion (having an Occult studies section) - you name it, people would find some reason to bitch to me (and others) about it. I never had a problem asking them to leave, either.
I don't know what it is about places like that - but the coffeeshops and bookstores I've worked in have always seemed to attract the fringes.
If it happens again in any business establishment - including public places like libraries: complain. The people working there should take care of it for you. If they don't, carry your complaint to the management or business owner.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
kooky
Where's the proof that they were really God's prophets?
Where is the proof that the holocaust happened? It could be nothing more than American lies. Why do you believe the things people tell you?
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LucreziaBorgia
Next time it happens, you can try complaining to the store manager that someone is harassing you. Generally in the B&N where I worked for a few years (which had a Starbucks Cafe) - if someone complained to me about some creep following them, or being proselytized to, or making their shopping/coffee experience anything less than pleasant those of us on the management team would not hesitate to ask them to leave. If they didn't, we'd call the police and have them escorted out. We didn't care what their beliefs were - that wasn't the issue: the fact that they are harassing customers (for any reason) is enough to ask them to leave.
So there is no confrontation or warning. Can I make a complaint, point to person at random, and have that person removed from the store? I’m thinking of the first airplane scene in the movie Anger Management.
sweetpea01
What is a better approach when dealing with this person?
1. Tell the person “I have no interest, and I don’t want to talk about it.” Repeat if necessary. I use that strategy when dealing with aggressive Jehovah Witnesses and it works.
2. If this person continues to harass you then turn to the store employee.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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