I just want to pass on my personal experience as a cheater I cheated on my wife with 2 long term affairs They were both steamy sexual and fun relationships .My wife was away traveling on business 3-4 days a week and I was lonely she then became a born again christian and spent time at church She found out a bout the second affair and divorced me when I could not quit the affair I lost everything and kept thinking in my demented thoughts we weould remarry.Being alone and divorced I stayed with the woman from the second affair and guess what because of the guilt from my divorce I could not treat her the same as when we were in the affair .Bottom line she dumped me 3 months ago I am again going through emotional pain wanting HER back I Do not want anyone going through what I am going through . Its not worth it !!! I hope this message will keep others ftrom suffering I have alot of guilt yet my ex wife took no blame for any of this She is now getting remarried and I am alone and feel like a loser I have had numerous relationships as of late all are empty . Vavso

[newby]

vavso,
this forum is for other women not cheating spouses, you will find people in your situation in the infidelity section. however whilst you are here, you could be very helpful to some of the ow in here telling them why they should get out of their relationships with mm.
like could you give us some insight why you cheated, what was going through your head, did you love the ow?
p.s
i am very sorry that you are suffering now, i think perhaps you need to address why you cheated and move on forgive yourself, why beat yourself for it, your wife is no longer suffering for it, you have suffered for it. the ow have probably got over you too by now so forgive yourself and move on and make sure you treat the next woman you have a relationship with well and appreciate her.

[newby]

p.s
why are you expecting your wife to take any responsibilty for you cheating anyway?
she may have not been a perfect wife but you say you had affairs with these ow because you wanted sex, thats how it sounds. so you hurt three women and are now wondering why your wife wont accept responsibilty for that and wants to get happy in her own life again??
you did all this for the sake of sex
dont get me wrong i still think you should forgive yourself and move on, but i dont think you can forgive yourself if you cant take full responsibility first.
you seem to be upset only about the fact that you lost everything, you do not mention any remourse for the hurt you caused all the women in this situation
i was soft in the head on my last post!!!
i was soft in the head with my relationship with mm
you are all so selfish!!

[XNemesisX]

I think sometimes the W or H can play a part on their spouse deciding to cheat. Doesn't make it right...but I think there are usually reasons behind every action.