Quick question,
My girlfriend and I have been putting some serious thought into getting engaged. She actually would prefer a long engagement of 2-3 years (to save for the wedding we want, get finances in order etc etc). I know the type of ring she would like, three stone round diamond, platinum setting. But she has small fingers (we're talking 4.5 or 5 ring size max). So a solitare might look better. So my question is would it take the romance/surprise away if we were to go "ring shopping" so I could get a more precise type and size of ring? I'm not planning to propose til the end of the summer but I don't want to make anything seem too "perfect" if that makes any sense. How would the women on the board want their boyfriend to handle a situation like this?

I appreciate any and all feedback.

[Tatertots]

If the surprise aspect is important to you, I would just get a cheap band to propose to her with, and then go shopping with her for the actual ring, so that she can choose exactly what she wants.
But if surprising her isn't such a big deal, I would just take her shopping for one.
This is something that she is going to be wearing for the rest of her life, so you want it to be something that she is 100% happy with.

My husband surprised me with the wedding ring, and although it was very nice, a few years down the line, I ended up getting another one for my anniversary that was more to my taste.

[Donut]

I absolutely agree, let her choose her own ring! Avoids problems.........

Have you ever seen Stepmom starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon? Very romantic proposal in that! Get a cheap dress ring to propose to her with, (even a plastic one if she has a sense of humour), then have fun shopping for the real thing.

[Mz. Pixie]

Take her shopping to see what kinds she likes. Ask her to pick out a few and you pick one from those!

thanks to everyone that replied. I think you're right in that it should be something she picks out. I think I'll take the suggestion of getting a few choices from her and then picking one of those. That leaves a bit of a surprise to it but not so much that she'll be disappointed. Thanks again.

[Ladyjane14]

My husband presented me with the ring when he proposed. It was very sweet and romantic.

He chose a simple setting, with a nice quality diamond solitaire. Very tasteful.

It's YOU who's doing the proposing, so do it in the way that you feel is special and representative of your feelings. If you want to buy the ring ahead of time, go ahead.

I think if it was me, I'd be sure that I could exchange it if necessary though....just in case.

[jade_nc]

if you know what she wants, get it for her.....some people don't like solitaires. she's obviously voiced her opinion on that. if you want to make her happy, why not give her what SHE wants, instead of what you think is the better option?

as far as shopping - it can still be a surprise. my H took me to look at rings, paid attn to what i liked, asked what stone i preferred, etc.......then he went on his own and bought it, so it was still a surprise.

I say, get the ring yourself, you know what she wants, she has told you this ... don't replace it with what YOU THINK may look better on her, it is her that has to wear it .. , her thoughts were expressed to you, act on it accordingly.

I say nay to her ring shopping with you... I like the above posters ring story .. of going with her husband and then him going back solo to get it... that's nice.

You do have it easy here, you already know what she wants, no substitues.

See, me, I would want it to be all my guy getting me a ring that HE ALREADY KNOWS I WOULD LIKE, after all if he is going to marry me, he will already know what type ring shape, clarity, quality I would want.

Hey and last but not least, if we don't hear from you again Happy Engagement!

[lynnspies1]

There are several jewelers that allow you to purchase a solitaire or other ring and then will credit you the entire price of the ring after your proposal toward the ring of her choice. Then you can surprise her and she would still get what she wants.

Congrats, Lynn