[loveisallaround]

Like all of us, I've kissed many frogs.

These frogs have made me stronger and have granted me more integrity, however they've also left me with a huge mistrust of men, which is ironic because I am one.

After my worst relationship yet, I swore myself to never settle for less. Something I did quite frequently because I was desperate to be with somebody. My philosophy is that it's better to cry over somebody who was worth it then somebody who wasn't. That was basically ten months ago.

Now I've met this great guy, Jon. Practically everything on my ideal mate list, he's been breathtaking and quite overwhelming. We've been talking for about three months, dating for a little over one and adding even more to the "breathtaking and overwhelming" factor, we were basically totally comfortable with eachother on the second date. We're falling hard and fast, totally.

But this great guy has made me realize how really insecure I am. Of somebody cheating on me. On my looks. On my career path. On my personality. Mostly all of which stem from past relationships.

I sometimes think he'll find somebody else. I think he won't like me because I'm a struggling filmmaker and he's in full swing at an Advertising Agency. That I'm not stimulating or fun enough, etc etc. These fears aren't even logical because he calls me consistently, we're all over eachother when we're together, and when we started going out, we confessed to each other that we're totally right for each other (at this time in our lives anyway).

We're both pretty busy individuals, with work and extra circular acitivities - and I feel sometimes feel rejected or that he doesn't like me when he says he can't do anything or when our phone calls are brief and not longer.

I'm totally aware of my insecurities and the actual facts - I just need advice on how to overcome them. I don't want to act on them, lash out and ruin something I've went through a lot of people for.

Thanks for listening!

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

It sounds like you do realize he likes you and you're just being silly. Really though, when you have someone great I think it's only normal to think "what are they doing with ME?" We're all our own worst critics. But obviously there's something special about you as well, or he wouldn't be with you now.

[paradox]

My friend met a guy whom she describes as great and she goes she feels"scared". Im like scared of what? and she goes she doesn't know herself. Maybe it's natural for person to feel insecure at the beginning of some good relationship.

[Punky918]

[Hello, i have some of the same feelings, my motto, always talk about it, if not to him then someone who will listen even if they dont have advice...at least you will have someone that u can talk to.

[innerconflict]

You are not the only person who feels this way. The men that I have been with have incredibly hurt and disappointed me in one way or another. Now I am with the man of my dreams and I get very insecure. I am afraid that he is going to go back to an ex or find someone else more attractive, etc. You know the drill.

Like you, I am aware of what is going on inside, and working to overcome them. I understand that my feelings of jealousy and insecurity are from my past, and so I do my best not to throw them in our relationship. It just takes time.

[loveisallaround]

Thanks for the advice/wisdom guys.

Things never seem to get easy, eh?

innerconflict; it's assuring to hear that you feel the same things. It's not when we're together when it's hard when we're not together. Even after a totally amazing night, or phonecall. It gets aggravating.

Obviously it's too early to talk to my boyfriend about it. I'll rely on friend support, and working through it on my own. If problems consist after three or so months, I guess it'd be time to talk to him.

It's hard to remind myself that the past is in the past.

[westernxer]

You should make a documentary about your situtation... put your filmmaking to use. It'd probably be great therapy, too.