[m_c00]

Hello everyone.... I'm going share my secret with yah...



Excuse the long story but I want to explain what is going on with my marriage.


I met my wife through the Internet, and we been together 4 1/2 years and with 1 1/2 year old daughter, and lately I been thinking about old girlfriend and my wife does not know I think about her, don’t get me wrong I’m not cheater would kill me if I ever cheat on a woman I think that's must disrespectful thing you could do to a woman. My wife is my first love and the first had sex with. I'm 22 years old and my wife is 21, we don’t keep secret from each other but this one I been holding it... ok, this girl i think about and dream about, it was a girl i grew up with in the 90's i moved around 1998 to where I'm at now and i only saw her 1 once after 6 month the year and since then i haven't seen her... kind of miss her, and i think about her alot and the thing we use to do together and she consider me as best friend because i was respectful to her and never talk about sex with her(the easy thing earn woman trust is not treat them like sex object in my opinion) honestly i love my wife and sometime ask my self do i really lover her? Is my wife the one I was meant to be with until I die? this question is drive me mad, and I don’t know what to do and I’m scare to discuss this to my wife and my wife told me once if I ever do something like cheat on her she will never forgive me or think about another woman and she told me she trusts me very much she know i wouldn't cheat on her.

Sometime, I go outside and sit in the park burst into tears because I don’t know what is wrong with me... I look at my wife and I feel like she my other half and I never want to lose her and right way I think about my old girlfriend as well I don’t love her but I don’t know I get this feelings for her when I think of her...

I have gone insane?

[moimeme]

You're not insane but you are doing yourself no favours by allowing these thoughts. You are married now with a child and all the responsibilities that go with it. Responsibilities can be tiring so you start thinking of an easier time.

You did not have a real relationship with the other girl but you're imagining somehow your life might not have been so hard if you'd done something different. That isn't the case. That girl only thought you a 'best friend' and is very likely married herself now.

From now on, when you think of the other girl, tell yourself this is just a daydream. Then make up a different daydream that you can enjoy instead. Maybe dream about taking a trip with your family or with just your wife. Or dream about being a champion skateboarder or a rock star or some other thing you think would be enjoyable and which helps you relieve the pressure of your current life.

[Ladyjane14]

Alot of people get really fixated on their ex when they're going through a stressful time in their lives. It happens to both men and women. So, it's kind of natural.

Personally, I think it's kind of a coping mechanism, in that....whatever the source of your stress is, you can't quite pin it down. It's vague, but it's bugging you at the subconscious level.

It's so much easier to cast around for memories of less stressful times, and in so doing you land on pleasurable ones. Often forgetting entirely why the ex wasn't THE ONE, you become kind to obsessed with the memories of her.

I think it might be kind of like dreaming in which the elements of your dream are, in actuality, representative of subconscious thought. It's probably not the girl at all that you want...it's more likely the pleasurable, carefree feeling that she represents.

Anyway, I'm not a professional by any means, but by observation I have noticed that one of the key times that people tend to do this is in the early years of starting a family.

It could be that the source of your stress is actually that you're worried about how you're going to take care of your young family. ALOT of young men get really worried about that. It's a daunting amount of responsibility afterall.

Maybe you could talk to some older men, whose opinions you respect, and get some feedback. (????)