So confused! Should I break up? How do I do it?

palegirl · 24th March 2005, 12:16 AM

I'm in a bit of a predicament. here's my situation:
A friend asked me out over a month ago, and we initially hit it off pretty well. And, as the weeks have gone by, he has proven himself to be one of the most considerate and caring guys I have ever met. He does everything right! He's there when I need him, willing to drop everything he's doing to talk. He even wakes up early to see if I'm in bed (I'm in college - I pull all nighters).

But, relationships are a new thing for me. And, I'm not sure what I feel about him. He obviously likes me A LOT, and I'm not used to that. I also feel bad that he's putting so much effort in this relationship, and I'm just along for the ride. I honestly don't know what I feel about him, although I can't ever picture us together in the future.

The relationship is also hurting my friendship between me and my best friend. For years, no one had ever gotten in between our relationship and she just can't get used to a guy. She's been putting a lot of stress on me, and being very accusatory that I'm dropping her for a guy.

So what do I do? Should I break up before it gets too in? How do I break up with a former friend turned boyfriend without it turning ugly for our friendship?

Thanks
palegirl

laRubiaBonita · 24th March 2005, 12:32 AM

tell you best friend to get her own life for a minute.... or better yet, her own boyfriend.

as for your guy/ boyfriend, tell him straight up that you are afraid you will not be able to devote as much time as you may want to towards the relationship.

stop feeling guilt from your friend and bask in the joys of having a guy that like you.

RecordProducer · 24th March 2005, 12:36 AM

Are you a lesbian? Cuz I am pretty sure your girlfriend is.
When you love somone - you know it. You're not hot for this guy.

palegirl · 24th March 2005, 12:56 AM

Does that mean I should end it with him then?

Would it be wrong of me to just enjoy it for a while? Call it my insecurity, but it does feel nice knowing someone likes u that much.

but I do see how it could get uncomfortable fast.

Sigh. HELP!

acidrein_08 · 24th March 2005, 1:40 AM

Sounds like a lez to me..

greenhorn · 24th March 2005, 4:45 AM

Hey palegirl,

I would suggest be honest to the guy and tell him upfront that though you are liking this new situation but right now you are not ready for any commitment. This way he will also control the stakes that he is putting in the relationship. Be together for some time and if you both feel like going for a relationship then you know what to do.... But you have to tell him upfront, don't think that if you tell him now he won't care you like before, he might do that but if you tell him clearly you would save lot of hard time for both of you in future.

As for your best friend , if you don't intend to live with her for lifetime then it is the right time to tell her the difference between partner and friend.

cheers

LoveOneAnother · 27th March 2005, 9:58 AM

Women always want what they cant have and when they can have it, they dont want it. Okay, thats how I am anyways. (at first)

He sounds as though he truly does like you. And if he does, he will listen to you. All you have to do is be honest with him. Tell him you just want to be friends and see if it developes into something more. That way it will take the pressure off of you. A lot of people are commitment shy. Nobody wants to get hurt and in a relationship, you take that risk.