[mcbiff144]

I am 19 and dated my first true love for 3 years. Last week, i found out he dumped me for no reason. yesterday i found out he had cheated on me, was afraid to say it, and is now dating the other girl. I realize that i can never be back with someone like him, but i am very jealous of the other girl. Also, i feel like the last 3 years have been a waste and nothing he told me was ever the truth. He always preached against cheating and i never thought i shouldnt trust him. I am having so much trouble moving on...any advice at all will help...a lot

worst of all, he owes me $550 which is making it hard for me to cut all strings ! HELP!

[Mz. Pixie]

Well, hon, it can happen to anyone, even grown men so don't kick yourself too bad.

My bf's last girlfriend borrowed THOUSANDS of dollars from him and hasn't tried to pay it back. He really can't afford to let it go. My point is he's 36 and should have known better and that he was being played but he didn't.

$550 is alot of money for someone your age, but I say let it go. You're too good for this creep and consider it a lesson well learned and move on.

[sami]

That's the best thing to do. Good advice Pixie.

[tiki]

Yeah, in the overall picture, he's hardly worth the $550 to have to deal with him.

[beejsea2]

Forget about the money and move on. I know that it hurts but it's a lesson learned and hopefully you'll think twice in your next relationship before you loan money.

[ntovrhm]

How old is he? Do you have a good relationship with his mother or father? I would ask them to arrange a payment plan for the money. $550.00 is $550.00. . . .

[mcbiff144]

I agree with you guys...talking to him is certainly not worth the money. I asked him to pay it back and he says he will with time...so I am just going to not talk to him and if i get the money great...if not...i realize he has lost something more valuable than money...someone who truly cared about him.

Any suggestions on coping with the cheating/jealousy/loss?

[greenhorn]

Originally posted by mcbiff144
I agree with you guys...talking to him is certainly not worth the money. I asked him to pay it back and he says he will with time...so I am just going to not talk to him and if i get the money great...if not...i realize he has lost something more valuable than money...someone who truly cared about him.

Any suggestions on coping with the cheating/jealousy/loss?

Dear you are already on the path of coping.I liked the bold statement from you that he has lost something more valuable than money. Make this as key statement, he didn't deserve you so you don't need to lose sleep or peace of mind for him. Preserve you love and care for someone who can recognise it and can reciprocate.

Now you should give time to yourself, think of what you like and what interests you and do those things. Start to love yourself

cheers

[amerikajin]

Might want to call a collection agency.

Other than that, you've learned the same lesson I learned about lending money a while back. Never lend anyone more than what you're willing to part with permanently. I lent a dude $350 once. Claimed he sent me a check not once, but twice. The third time I called, he had moved and his phone number was no longer availabe. I used to be this guy's roommate. I could have been a dick and called his parents, but I decided not to. I knew he was having money problems and I honestly just didn't want to hassle his parents. That was when I was a little younger and a lot nicer. I wouldn't think twice about it now, though. My money's mine, and I don't intend to part with it.

This is a sad story. I hope you treat yourself gently over the next few months while you recover from this betrayal and loss. You are not alone, though. A lot of relationships end this way. People are too weak to break up if it means being alone for a while; they wait until someone new comes along. If your bf left you that quickly for this new girl, he had probably been pulling away emotionally for a few months but wasn't man enough to tell you about his feelings.

I hope he's not so much of a jerk that he keeps your $550. I agree with the other posters that you should consider the money gone, though. You need all your energy for getting through the break-up and moving on.

[dmac]

he was prolly the quieter one and u were the outgoing one that never listened to him when he had a problem, you just fought back and the problems he was having went unadressed