SIGH. I feel like I am taking crazy pills. So this guy I was seeing, we stopped seeing each other. Blah blah blah, the relationship was not a good one and there were more problems than I care to rehash. The problem is that even though I don't want to get back together with him, I still miss him. I have sent him a couple emails, some that he responded to, some he didn't. Haven't really talked about us in the emails just mostly funny stories or whatever. The problem is, I guess part of me really wants him to engage with me in a discussion - it could be about anything, not us, just anything to put this rift behind us and figure out how to be friends. But that's not happening and probably won't.
Part of me wants him to just say something to me, like he doesn't want to be friends or get lost or something. Instead he just doesn't say anything and it makes me feel like crap. He said something like he's really busy and I wouldn't like talking to him or being around him right now anyway. I have no clue what that means, and I didn't ask.
So tell me what I already know here - I should stop contacting him right? No more email? I just don't want to hurt anymore.
If you pester him enough he'll probably tell you to get lost eventually. Then you will have some closure. So do that if you think that's what you need.
You know what's worse? This guy is a dick. He pretty much always has been. Plus he is a herion junkie and a loser. So what the frick is wrong with me? I don't get it. Why do I let him hurt me and dictate this crap? I am better than this.
Most people don't like being ignored. I'd rather have a girl say something mean to me so I can get mad at her and get over her quicker then just have her ignore me.
Jesus. I also just deleted his email address from my address book. And I don't have a clue what it is, so that should help with the no more emailing him. I asked him to just tell me if he doesn't want to be friends. If that was something that he just said because he felt bad at the time. And then he sent me something saying that he ate too much today and he is really full. Then he said "quit bitchin". What the hell does that mean? So instead of dealing with it, I just deleted him. I mean screw him, right? What is the point of feeling like crap over someone who isn't worth it.
Now that my head believes that I need to make my heart believe it.
What a nut job. He sent me something else that says he hates serious talk. OK. Why is he even sending me anything? I don't want to engage here. This is stupid. I am stupid for being with this guy or caring about this crap. Why am I such a freaking idiot!
when you do that you open the door to co-dependent and manipulative people that need your strength.
understand that like bees and dogs, co-dependents can smell fear.
block his mail. go see a friend. keep a journal. when he shows up and wants you back then tell him that if he wanted you so badly he would
a. have treated you better in the first place
b. had the ability to not dismiss you with something so crass as 'hate serious talk'
and c. he would have something to offer you other than pain and misery and self loathing.
if you think you need him and that you are attracted to people like him then you need to figure out why and squash the impulses.
ask out someone you would never think to go out with. stop dating until you feel as though you don't have to take care of someone or be their crutch in order to have a connection with them.
i do not mean to jump to conclusions but if there was a leech on your arm you would burn it off. if you saw a roach you would kill it.
get away from this person they like the roach and the leech just want to take from you and leave you with nothing in the end except a dead bug.
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