[quankanne]

[color=red]Basic rights to expect within a relationship*[/color]

1. The right to good will from each other

2. The right to emotional support

3. The right to be heard by your mate, and be responded to with courtesy

4. The right to your own viewpoint, even if it differs from your mate's

5. The right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real

6. The right to receive a sincere apology for behavior your mate knows is offensive to you

7. The right to clear and informative information to questions that concern what is legitimately your business

8. The right to live free from criticism and judgement

9. The right to have your interests or your work spoken of with respect

10. The right to encouragement

11. The right to live free from emotional and physical threat, from angry outbursts and rage

12. The right to not be called by a name that devalues you

13. The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered, to do something

* Taken from "The Enigma of Abusive Relationships," San Antonio Woman, March/April 2005

[moimeme]

I see that this is information from an article about abusive relationships. As such, I think it's a good thing but I'd hate to think of people going into relationships with a set of 'rights' in mind. Something about it doesn't sit right with me.

[quankanne]

Something about it doesn't sit right with me

are you punning with me, moi?

Most of us have an intrinsic understanding about what is proper within the framework of a relationship, but then there are the grey areas ... this Bill o'Rights is meant to clarify what is/is not allowable, if you will.

And, there have been posts I've read where people describe actions or behavior that tells me that someone is playing dirty, is not respecting them or their needs in that relationship, so I thought this might help them a bit.

[moimeme]

are you punning with me, moi?

LOL. Was too tired to be punny.

And, there have been posts I've read where people describe actions or behavior that tells me that someone is playing dirty, is not respecting them or their needs in that relationship, so I thought this might help them a bit.

In terms of understanding what ought to be 'normal', I guess it's cool. I can just see someone who's not having trouble in a relationship wielding this over someone to indict their minor flaws. Guess I'm getting cynical about how little leeway people seem to be giving one another on the one hand. You're concerned by how much they give on the other

[shamen]

I don't know, Moi. Somehow I do think that sometimes we need reminded what we should be able to expect in a normal relationship. I know that I could have used a reminder now and then in my past. But then again, I'm starting to wonder if I know what a normal relationship is, because I don't think that I've ever had one!

Quankanne, may I add one more? I can't tell you how many times in my life that I've been disappointed by this one, even in long-term relationships. Doesn't anyone have any sense of any respect anymore?!

14. The right to expect someone to actually show up when they say they are going to, or a call if they are going to be late or can't come.