Hi i have been reading this forum for about a week and have finally decided to post. Please help, My g/f of nearly 10 years has broken up with me and i don't know how i am going to cope, it has nearly been 3 weeks since she left. At first i was ok but i think that was because i thought we would get back together. After a week of not talking and some reflection i relised where i had gone wrong. Although towards the end niether of us made the effort. I wanted to make that effort now, but she said it is too late. I love this girl with all my heart but she has hurt me so much.

A couple of days after we spoke and she told me she didn't want us anymore i found out she was seeing a friend of ours. This i guess is what really hurts about the break up. The fact that she has moved on and i am left here without her and without anybody to love. We broke up in 2000 for 3 months too and she dated another guy straight away too. i didn't find out i think for a month but when i did it hurt like hell, but then she relised she loved me and we got back together. Although it was hard i finally forgave her.

All i can think now is i want her back but i guess i will have to wait for her. She was my first love, we got together when we were 17 and have changed a great deal since then. I am finding it hard to remeber why i thought we should break up and only think of how much i think i love her. She did frustrate me, she never wanted to go out and do stuff with me she used to sit on the sofa watching telly for days on end, usually because she was on a come down off of something, she liked to do drugs with her friends, which i was never really comfortable with, i don't like to do those things, so i used to never go with her when she went out with those friends, which she didn't like as i was like the invisble partner that every one asked after. I was stupid and should have made the effort to at least go with her to these places sometimes even if i didn't like the heavy drug taking.

She also had a sleeping problem that i hated and rarly got out of bed before 2 in the afternoon. We never really went to bed together either as she would sit up all night on the comp chatting. I guess she was just avoiding me.

Please give me some words of wisdom to help me get over this, as i think really she is not going to come back this time and also if she did i would be stupid too take her back as she would only hurt me again.

[Groovy]

I am sorry your hurting. "Time heals all wounds" is the right one here. If she does not want to be with you let here go. She is doing you a favor so you can find someone who appreciates you for who they are. I myself do not want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me, because relationships are a two way street. There has to be giving and receiving, which happens naturally if they are right for you. Tell yourself it is HER loss.

Obviously over so many years a relationship that long is a part of your life you've lost. I would suggest counseling if you can afford it. I'd also avoid dating for a few months, maybe get your mind off her with some books, movies or friends. Just don't stay home miserable about her.

Best of luck and hang in there!

[srsvfx]

10 years and you didnt get married? Is this possibly a reason she left? If you didnt ask her to marry her after 10 years, im guessing you really didnt want her that badly anyway. You just have spent a lot of time with her and it is scary letting those memories go. To me it sounds like there is someone else for you out there.

best of luck.

[ddnnee]

i remember seeing an article saying that a girl's mind changes every 10 years. So if you met your gf around 17 and now it she 27, she has already changed her wants and needs. A lot of times the girl wants a change of her man too. If you want a stable girl to love, find a girl around 25, when they have matured enough and can change less.

Besides, it is her loss anyway, and now you can find a better girl. If I had it my way, i'd like to change girls every 10 years. date a 17 yr old while i was 17, then when im 27, dump the old girl like an old 386 computer and date an 20 year old, 10 years later, dump that one and get a new one...

just noticed that this thread was almost a year ago!!!! =D