[lostflight]

Hello all,
I need some advice. My wife and I have been married 7 years. Just last year we separated and she went back home to Europe. I stayed and saw other women. About 3 months alone I began to miss her and I was overcome with the need to be with her. We maintained contact. Well one thing to another I found myself on a plane to Europe and I had to work to get her back. Well I did. Then I found out she had been seeing someone while we were apart. I asked her this before I left the states. She said no and Lied to me. Well after all was said and done she told me she had to lie because she knew if told me I would of never come for her. SHE WAS RIGHT. I also told her about what I did. I wanted no more lies etc.. Well of course she then turned all that around and I found myself defending my actions.
Nonetheless she wanted to be with me. I decided to give it one more chance.
Well I did and here I am now in Europe with her. However I am feeling as miserable as I did when we first separated. We have no children but she wants one and I don't. At least not yet. She is 31 so she is getting impatient. She is truly a sweetheart and is good to me. I can see how much she loves me. I just cant seem to get into that love and passion that I felt for her once. I just don't feel it. I considered leaving but I remember how horrible that first time we separated felt. That miserable rock that I had in my stomach, that panic that overcame me. I am scared to feel that again. I don't wish that on anyone. It was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I still have a hard time forgetting what happened when we separated. I always thought she would wait for me. Well I was wrong. But she seems to have moved on from that. I don't bring it up I just think about it from time to time.
So here I am again. I feel like history repeating itself. I walk around looking at other women hoping that I can find that passion that I once felt with my wife. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to leave her again, thinking I will miss out on the best women of my life because she is loves me soooo much.
What would you do? Thanks for your inputs.....

[Pocky]

What are you doing to recapture the passion in your marriage?

[Tiger-Lily]

Hi lost-flight

We have no children but she wants one and I don't. At least not yet.

I think what could possibly solve that problem (which I really don't see one) is to really consider having a new member to the family. I don't think that having a baby is such a bad idea. It would actually bring you both closer.

It sounds like you both really love each other. I think you should do everything in your power to make it work.

Start looking for baby names

Good Luck!

[Pocky]

I don't think bringing a child into the world in order to "fix" a problem is the right reason to have a child. Having a child is a serious responsibility and not a cure all for unhappy marriages. Having a child while you feel this way would be a big mistake.

Again, I'll ask. What are you doing to recapture the passion in your marriage? You get what you put into a marriage. If you're not putting anything into, you're certainly not going to get anything out of it.

[lostflight]

Thank you for your replies. Wow, having a baby I would think is the last thing I should do. Just the idea sends chills down my spine. I cant even fathom the idea of me being a father when I cant even get my own life together. I don't see how having a baby will bring me closer to her. In fact it might do the opposite. We will both have something else to think about other then ourselves and one day when this baby grows up and leaves, we will be two old strangers with nothing in common. Okay maybe that is a little much but thats what I think.
As for what pocky asked, well to be honest I am not doing anything special to better the relationship. In fact I don't even know or even feel like doing anything. I guess I am getting nothing out of it as I am not putting anything into it. I just don't have the drive. That passion I used to have. Maybe its gone...

[uberfrau]

So you were out screwing other women, all the while you had the nerve to think she would 'wait' for you.

And when you found out she didn't 'wait' for you, you get all upset. And her being the smart woman she is, turned the tables around on YOU! Good for her.

So a condition of you 'coming back' for her, was her staying 'faithful' to her 'unfaithful' husband. Hypocrite.

LEt me guess, the 3 months you were away, I bet you got rejected too many times by women. You were getting 'bored' in your marriage (meaning, wanting stranger sex) so you separate, but couldn't get any play. So you get scared, and come crawling back to your wife because the sexual rejection was too much. Now you complain you are 'bored' and can't find that 'passion' agian.

Was she a Russian mail order bride? HA, she's not the doormat you were envisioning, eh? If that's what you wanted, you should have gone Asian.

REality check-the hormone that create that 'rush' are usually GONE is a year. Did yo hear me. IT'S IS ALL CHEMICAL.

Yo don't deserve her, and you are WAY too immature to be married. Just hang out at the women's show department and try to pick up women. For every 30 rejections, you might get a phone number. If she's smart she ditch your stupid ass and end up with someone of substance.

Suck on this,

Uber

[oldfashion]

Uberfrau i agree with you.

lostflight , if you dont put anything into it, you cant get nothing out of it. I think you are very immature and do not deserve her.

check it out http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ . maybe it helps you lol