In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
First off, I'm a definite loner. It's not just that I'm comfortable being alone, I really prefer it. I tend to be shy (deep down inside), but I'm also confident, intelligent, have a wicked sense of humor and can usually make people feel good about being around me. For the most part, I feel attractive (and I've been told that I am.) I've found that certain "types" of girls find me more attractive than others. Luckily, those are the types of girls I tend to be attracted to myself.
Once I get into a conversation with a girl, things tend to go wonderfully. My problem, though, is that initial approach. What really makes it difficult is that the girls I tend to like are usually shy. If I see someone I could be interested in, say at a museum, book store, bar or coffee shop, they're usually the ones off by themselves looking like they would rather not be bothered.
To make matters worse, some advice I saw years ago always pops into my head: "Women don't go grocery shopping to get hit on. That's what bars or for." So, now I worry doubly over whether or not it's an appropriate time/place to approach her.
Does anyone have any advice on approaching this type of woman? Or about how to tell for sure whether it's an appropriate time?
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"Love is on the lawn, but I keep mowing." -- Kevin Moore
Re: Good times and bad times (to approach a woman)
Quote:
Originally posted by The_Fool
Does anyone have any advice on approaching this type of woman? Or about how to tell for sure whether it's an appropriate time?
Do you know much about reading female body language related to attraction? If not I suggest you read up on it, there are many good books out there on the subject.
If you can master reading body language that women give off it will help you immensely cause then you'll know which ones to approach.
Most, if not all, women give off certain cues unconciously when they are attracted to a man and once you learn to read these they are unmistakable.
You're right: I think that all women do it, but some won't do it until they sense that you're attracted to them, or they won't do it based on looks but may once a conversation gets going (think the shy and introverted type of girl--which is the type of woman I'm normally most attracted to.)
Otherwise, I'm normally pretty good at noticing the signals.
These signals are no brainers. You will know when you get them. I agree with the above then, body language can say a lot. And it is unconcious however, so don't come on too strong based on body language alone or you will scare them away.
"Women don't go grocery shopping to get hit on. That's what bars or for."
That is not necessarily true. I wouldn't mind a friendly conversation no matter where I was. and I have plenty of friends who choose their grocery store BASED on whether cute guys go there or not.
About the signals, I would say, ask yourself first if you think the girl is friendly and wants to talk to you, and then later you can figure out whether she would go out with you or not. What I mean is,,, don't automatically have the romantic stuff on your mind, just be friendly.
Originally posted by HoldOn
and I have plenty of friends who choose their grocery store BASED on whether cute guys go there or not.
That's silly. I choose my grocery store based on where the good sales are that week. I suppose that could depend on your age, say if you had the hots for the bagger in lane 4, but those boys are children to me. I'm gonna go where the Betty Crocker potatoes are Buy 1 Get 1 free.
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