hi im new and have no idea if im even posting this in the right group if not please forgive me and let me know where i should put my post..so here goes my story....
I cheated on my husband with this other guy and ended up pregnant i will still living with my husband when i had the baby my dh is on the birth certificate as father and also has dh last name well i moved out of my husbands recently for a month and in that time went and lived with this other man. dh and i decide to try and make this marriage work so i went back home. well while i was with the other guy we did one of them home dna test and test came back to be that the baby is the other mans well now he is threating me that he is going to take me to court for visitation and custody..im wondering if this is possible they would grant him custody or even visitation??? i know it may be wrong of me but i don't want her to know that he is her father. my dh has raised her for all her life except 1 month and dh name is on everything with her. everyone is telling me since she was born in the marriage a judge is going to consider that she is my dh regardless but im finding it hard to believe...someone please give me some advice on what i should do or even how to handle this...btw i have stopped talking to the other man period....
I posted this on another thread but thought it may go here..
ditto what Otter said. find a lawyer, quickly, this has the potential for getting messy if he decides he wants to push it. does your H have any idea that your daughter's not his?
If this child truly is not biologically your husband's, then you have a 90% chance of failing to keep this truth from your child. Ask any child that finds out in young adulthood or through medical necessity how they feel about the fact they have been lied to throughout their life! You are taking a great chance here in damaging your future relationship with your child.
It is best that the truth be known and validated as soon as possible. An attorney will give you your legal options. A therapist can counsel on how to best break the news to the child throughout her growing up years.
Quote:
posted by megan1012
i know it may be wrong of me but i don't want her to know that he is her father.
The person you will be wronging here is not the other man, the person you will be wronging is your own child.
Of course he can take you to court and unless there is a good reason why a judge would not give him visitation, then I'm sure he will get it. First he will have to prove the child is his through the court. Once it comes back that the child is indeed his then CS and visitation will be set. As for C I doubt it. I would contact a Lawyer right away.
Yes the father can take you to court for his rights. First he has to prove he is the father through the courts, once that is proven they will set up CS and visitation. I doubt he will get C. Most courts side with the mother unless she is unfit and that can be proven. But for visitation, unless there is a really good reason why he cant see the child.... he has rights. I would get a lawyer right away. This could get nasty.
If it is his biological child, he has rights, regardless if you were married to someone else at the time of the birth. He will get joint custody and visitation rights if he wants it, but he will also have to pay child support on the flip side. The court will order a DNA test, and once that comes back positive, you have a legally recognized new daddy for your baby.
See a lawyer, patch it up with your H, don't let this OM get into your family and ruin it...
Unless the OM wants a big fight, it will be hard for him to claim paternity without your cooperation. I advise you to withhold it for the sake of your family integrity. Your H has the right attitude...and legally, any baby born to a MW is presumed to be the offspring of her H unless proved otherwise.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
I dont want to sound rude here but it seems to me that you want to hide your mistake of your cheating ways.....i think you need to think about what you are REALLY doing here.
Seems u r being selfish and want it all. Your innocent H is NOT the childs biological father and he has a right to know that, for the life of me i dont even know how you can go around everyday and face him knowing that you are lying to him, the poor man thinks that this is HIS child, when really its a product of his wife spreading her legs to another man.
Put all that aside, you are lying to this child....why? because ur wanting to cover ur cheating.....i suggest this child be told the truth as soon as they're old enough to hear it, a decent responsible human being u should at least have the common decency to let ur child know the truth, if u dont this kid will end up not liking u very much....imagine how u would feel being lied to all your life????
As for the biological father he has every right to see his child, its his kid for f*** sake!!
You knew what u were doing when you opened ur legs for him now deal with the consequences...
Sorry to sound so harsh but i hate people who lie to children to cover their own ass.
From the point of view of access for the child's natural father, I think you should get some real legal advice on this, because things will vary depending on where in the world you are.
Secondly, I think you should go somewhere (other than LoveShack) to get some more adequate advice on telling the child (when appropriate). Are you dealing with this together with your husband? I am assuming he knows the truth about all this at this point?
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