Why do opposites attract...if there is nothing in common?
Originally posted by iceisles This may be suited for another thread entirely, but why do you think opposites attract? Wouldn't you think you would get along better with someone with whom you had a lot more in common with?
__________________ Glitter: The herpes of craft supplies.
~Demitri Martin
It depends on what is opposite. You can have lots of things you do be in common, but have opposite emotional and personality traits which can fit like puzzle pieces to 'complete' the relationship. Its that way with me and Mr. B - he and I have nearly all of our activities and things we like and like to do in common, but our personalities are nearly opposite. He is "calm, cool, logical" to my "temperamental, hot, and emotional." If we were alike in our temperaments and emotional states we'd either bore each other to death, or kill one another.
I think its that sort of thing that has to be just opposite enough. I can't imagine how couples who don't have activities/likes in common manage. What on earth would you do for fun if your partner didn't like any of the same things you did?
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
Because how can you learn and grow from a person who is just like you. You need someone that can balance you out. Your soul mate. The ying and yang.
My response
__________________
The male brain is more compartmentalized than the female brain. Men can seperate things whereas women have a harder time cause their brains are all wired together in some inter-connected mish-mosh.
I guess this did warrant a new thread. Lol. Sadly, I now have Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract" stuck in my head. As to the debate, I think some opposites are good - you don't want your partner to be a carbon copy of yourself. But I see a lot of couples that are almost complete opposites, and it amazes me how they stay together.
Re: Why do opposites attract...if there is nothing in common?
Quote:
Originally posted by laRubiaBonita Originally posted by iceisles This may be suited for another thread entirely, but why do you think opposites attract? Wouldn't you think you would get along better with someone with whom you had a lot more in common with?
well of course opposites attract LARUBIABONITA. And the perfect example is that men and women are polar opposites in most areas and we cannot keep our hands off each other.
I am a man and i don't want to date a man or a masculine woman. And I am not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that.
Re: Re: Why do opposites attract...if there is nothing in common?
Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
well of course opposites attract LARUBIABONITA. And the perfect example is that men and women are polar opposites in most areas and we cannot keep our hands off each other.
I think that is tied more to hormones and the need to reproduce as a species than it is a conscious selection of a partner.
Re: Re: Why do opposites attract...if there is nothing in common?
Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
And the perfect example is that men and women are polar opposites in most areas and we cannot keep our hands off each other.
Actually men and women are very similar.
i was not implying physical and physiological differences. i meant more the personalities and values.
I agree with Alpha, (well not the part you're not from earth..lol) but men and women are different! In so many ways. I can't even think where to begin!! LOL!
Location: Heaven won't take me, and hell's afraid I'll take over
Posts: 5,703
Opposites attract IMO to bring things to the table (so to speak) that one or the other is lacking..
While I do think it's important to have common ground and simular interest.. I also think that sometimes when 2 people who are too much alike get together it can cause as many problems in the relationship just in different ways.
__________________
Don't be mad at me when I'm mad at you.
Opposites attract because of hormones and unrealistically romantic ideals, plain and simple. It's pretty stupid I know, but somehow people are trapped into thinking that they are 'victims' of their biological urges. But from a more level-headed point of view, how can two people who are completely different from each other function well as a couple, at least as a long-term committed couple? Usually you'll find that people just looking for a casual, non-committed relationship are the ones who go for 'opposites', all for the sake of cheap short-term thrills. A person looking for something more serious is more likely to look for a partner they have a lot in common with.
I touched on this topic briefly in my other post (Romance and relationships: a pointless concept), questioning why opposites attract in the first place. Here is an extract from it:
A maxim of the romantic school of thought is that opposites attract. Opposites may initially attract, but they do not stay together. Compatible romantic relationships are moot because most men and women are too different to have anything in common anyway . Many women cannot understand why men love sport, while men cannot understand why women love shopping. On the other hand, men are not generally attracted to tomboys and women are not attracted to effeminate men, although such people may in fact have more in common and be more compatible as partners. Romance apparently thrives on the partners being as vastly different from each other as possible. This formula will surely crash and burn, since each party shows no enthusiasm in the other’s interests and will quickly end up bored and frustrated. It appears that in most relationships, all that the participants really have in common is lust.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
