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You can still keep your tomboyish-ness that appeals to him as a friend, but you can also bolster up your womanhood to see if he would be attracted in other ways. This will require a leap of faith - one which might not work in your favor.
Telling a guy friend that you like him as more than friends will result in one of two likely scenarios: you'll either begin dating, or he'll begin avoiding you if he doesn't feel that way about you. Sometimes you can get the friendship back, but for the most part 'love' will kill 'just friends'. You'll need to decide if its worth it to you to take that leap and determine if you are willing to lose what you have to get what you want. To get him to see you differently, you'll have to present yourself differently. If you don't want to be stuck as the 'friend girl' you'll have to pull back on presenting yourself as one.
Take a look at the type of woman he's attracted to. What do his girlfriends have that make them girlfriend material and you friend material? Make subtle changes to yourself to incorporate some of these qualities into yourself and present them in his presence. Do things that enhance, rather than mask your womanhood. If you normally wear big baggy clothing or very casual clothing, then wear things that are the same but more form fitting to accent your body. Add a touch of perfume. A bit of subtle makeup (I only wear a bit of mascara, lightly smudged eyeliner, and colored lipgloss and it works for me). Wear your hair differently. You don't want to change who you are, you just want to enhance who you are by drawing out a few feminine qualities. If its more of a 'mindset' thing, then that's a little harder. You'll have to figure out that fine line between 'acting like a friend' and 'acting like an available woman'. Show him you are making an effort to get his attention with these subtle changes. That is what will differentiate you from how he sees you on an everyday 'friend' basis. Unless he's a dunce, he'll notice. He may not say anything but he'll notice.
Once he does, you'll need to make that decision. I'd base it on his reaction to your changes. If he reacts positively - as in "wow, you look awesome/pretty/etc, then you have a better chance than if he reacts negatively - as in "what are you doing to yourself" (said in a tone of dismay). His reaction is a pretty good indicator of how he feels about your changes - which on some level he'll recognize for what they are. If he reacts positively, then make the leap. If you get a gut sensation, no matter how small - that he is reacting negatively then back it off. You'll then need to decide whether you can continue being 'friends' when really you are hiding a hopeful heart.
You never know though, your changes might just attract the attention of someone you hadn't expected and wouldn't mind dating!
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No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.
--Mary Wollstonecraft
Last edited by LucreziaBorgia; 28th February 2005 at 8:50 AM.
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how to show interest to my guy friend?
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