[beautysoul]

Just two days ago, I fell out of love with my husband. And I feel that it is a permanent thing, because I remember when it happened with my first husband. Yes, this is my second husband, but he didn't start out abusive. He and I lived a fairytale for two and a half years. The pressure of having two babies quickly, and him having to provide and be gone on the road all of the time has created lots of problems for our marriage. the thing is though, that I am always doing whatever it takes to communicate, be empathic to him, understand him, etc. It used to be that I would give my life for him. But he is unable to be empathic, he is unwilling to negotiate, show compassion, etc. He was abused for his entire childhood, but he made me believe when we first got together that he was stronger than that, and wouldn't let it run his life. but it is. He used to verbally and emotionally abuse me quite intermittently. Obviously, as time went on, it became more frequent, and my heart became more and more hardened. I remember telling him many times that if he kept talking to me that way,or emotionally abusing me, I would hate him eventually. But at the same time I always believed in him, and in his innate human "goodness', even after he got physical with me this Christmas. The breaking point for me was when he called my two year old a piece of **** to her face. He told her that that was all she was, all she'll ever be, second best, piece of white trash. I lost all respect for him. I told him that that was completely unacceptable and that he needed to acknowledge that. He admitted, "okay, maybe i went a bit overboard, but.............." Blah blah blah, i told him that no matter what, it's completely unacceptable. I told him that if he ever utters words like that to our kids again, my kids and i are gone. Same with the physical abuse to me. i wil lgo if he does that, but he still pushes me away emotionally. I am blamed for anything that goes wrong within our relationship, or pretty much anything that goes wrong. He comes up with **** out of nowhere to accuse me of, or criticize me for. And I used to try to argue withhim, defend myself, but I can't do that anymore. I have to be true to me, and I don't want to give up on a marriage, but I can't stay with him if i don't love him. And even when I give him affection, he pushes me away, or gives me a very superficial kind of attention. I can't stand being taken for granted. He doesn't even know me. But I believe that I have finally come to knw him for wh ohe truly is. And I could hate him.

Is it possible for him to change, and for me to love him again?