[babygirl6]

OK, I've been through total crap right now with my ex not being with me anymore. I miss him soo much. It just seems that him being in alot of "stress" is taking to long. What this goes to is Do any of you guys think there's another girl? He said there isn't but everytime I'm near him, he doesn't look like he's under stress. Me and him do everything together and he NEVER talks about his stress to me. It's like he is fine now but he said we would be back together after the stress is down. (It looks down now) HELP!!!!!

How do I get over a guy I love so much?????

~babygirl~

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by babygirl6
How do I get over a guy I love so much?????

By not being with him. Right now I expect your need to be with him, no matter the circumstances outweighs your need to fix your heart, and I can understand that... but the only way you are going to be able to get your heart back together is to distance yourself from him.

Let him know you love him, that your heart can't handle "friends" and initiate a firm NC. This NC will allow you to have uninterrupted time to get your heart back together and allow you to get over him. As long as you are with him, talk to him, and are "there for him", you'll never be able to get over him. Every minute you are with him feeds a hope for a reconciliation that just isn't going to happen.

People get the idea after their partner breaks up with them, that if they are 'there for them' or 'give them time' then they are somehow as if by magic, going to change their minds and want them back again. It doesn't happen that way. Your partner wanted out of the relationship, but wanted to keep contact with you - right now your partner has no needs for you outside of the "friendship" that you have. He is happy with this arrangement, and will have no motivation to change it. Why would he want to get back into a relationship that he got himself out of, when he's getting all he needs from you right now as "friends"? As long as you are hanging around, you are letting him know that on some level you are fine with this. Otherwise you wouldn't be hanging around.

Do a bit of reading in this thread: Lost Guide to No Contact - you'll find some information and help there on what to do. Here is another thread that might also give you some perspective on dumpers and dumpees. It won't be easy, and you'll need to understand that 'NC' in this case isn't some trick to get your guy back. Its a coping mechanism to help you get over your broken heart.

[greenhorn]

Lucrezia,
Excellent post once again.

Whatever you say is so true ..though i am in third month of NC but sometimes my courage gets low and then i read posts like this and it helps..

I can vouch with my personal experience that the thing about NC is true.If you hang in there you would agree to the present arrangement and would still hope of reconcilation so better start NC.

Its painful but it helps.

[Israfil]

Ditto Greenhorn and Lucrezia

NC

NC

NC

NC


wait....

and

NC!

[greenhorn]

Hey one thing i wanted to ask


Do you all feel even in 3 months of NC that it is enough and cant bear it more so lets go to our ex and plead to take us back...i frankly admit that i feel like that atleast one day in a week but then i come to LS and get my courage.

[moimeme]

It's like any other addiction. It takes time to clear the cravings out of your system.

[almathea]

Originally posted by greenhorn
Hey one thing i wanted to ask


Do you all feel even in 3 months of NC that it is enough and cant bear it more so lets go to our ex and plead to take us back...i frankly admit that i feel like that atleast one day in a week but then i come to LS and get my courage.

Amen!! Was having a moment of weakness tonight myself...thats why I had to come here and start reading some posts....lol.....