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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 18th February 2005, 1:18 PM   #1
Bo408
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Unhappy Upset

I think I've lost the only 2 "real" friends I had
I don't see them as much
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Old 18th February 2005, 3:16 PM   #2
tiki
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It's part of getting older, unless you really go out of your way to 'make it happen'.
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"Well it’s time to go home
And I ain't even done with the night." JcM

Peace, love and tie~dye...I'm out yo!
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Old 18th February 2005, 8:11 PM   #3
Bo408
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Unhappy

Quote:
Originally posted by tiki
It's part of getting older, unless you really go out of your way to 'make it happen'.
Will I ever see them again?
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Old 19th February 2005, 11:08 AM   #4
tiki
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Of course!



Hopefully!

Maybe not?
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Old 20th February 2005, 10:59 PM   #5
SuperFantastico
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Well what happened that you lost them. Or are they just not around that much
anymore. Tiki's right, people grow apart over time. Just because this happens
dosnt mean you wont see them again and also dosnt mean you wont get more.

I had lots of friends from high school and university that i dont see anymore(i didnt
go to university but i lived with a student and near one ) But i've also met
tons more people. It hurts more when they are close, but you will find more
of those too.

As to if you will ever get them back. Who knows. Up to you and them.
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Old 23rd February 2005, 4:23 AM   #6
j.carsey
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Re: Upset

Quote:
Originally posted by Bo408
I think I've lost the only 2 "real" friends I had
I don't see them as much
This has been one of the things that has really upset me too over the years. I'm in my early 20s and am a really independent guy, but still I really miss my old friends. We used to hang out all the time in highschool, talk daily. They are moving away, or becoming more distant, or hooking up with gf's/bf's and spending less time with old friends.

It seems to happen. The good news is that there are always new friends to be made. More good news, if you put in an effort to meet up with your old friends (go visit them, invite them over, etc) you'll probably find they are really receptive to you. It reminds you that you are still friends. I recently met up with some of my oldest friends, from like 15 years ago, and it was a really fun time.

As for friends that seem to become more distant, put in an effort to keep in touch with them but if they are withdrawing from you then I know it's sad and I have no idea what you can do about that.

I wish people all could put in more of an effort to keep their long term friendships. Social psychologists like Zimbardo observe that the overwhelming factor in depression, loneliness and loss of direction in Americans' lives is losing touch with friends and close contacts. Whenever you can, try to keep the lines open with people you think are friends. Call them up, talk. It really can't hurt, and it will probably make everyone feel better.
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