[fast talker]

Help. My good friend just told me that she slept with another man. Her relationship with her husband sucks so I knew this was coming but I am really having a hard time dealing with this. I told my husband but he just thinks that she has no self respect and is a coward not to break up with her husband. She has one kid and a really messed up marriage but I just can 't get over the fact that she slept with a co worker who is also married. He is her good friend. My husband thinks that this is not the first time. What should I do? I have told two close friends of mine for advice who know this person but are not her direct friend. I feel guilty telling someone about this but I am really torn about our friendship. Help

[_Saffy_]

firstly, you should stop talking about this with other people. she trusted you with this and you should not betray that. these things always have a way of getting back to the person concerned.

secondly, you should explain to your friend that whilst you understand that her marriage is not too good, that you dont understand why she is treating herself in this way, and that while you will always be there to support her if/when she needs you, you dont want to hear about her sexual adventures.

[Butterfly28]

I understand your concern for your friend, but BE CAREFUL not to get too involved in her troubled marriage. Be a friend to her. If she needs to talk, listen. Don't offer advice to her that you can't own up to. If you aren't married, she may look at your advice and say, "How do you know what I'm going through?" - interfering with a marriage from a friend standpoint is very risky. Sometimes it's best just to subtly hint to your friend that what she's doing is "wrong" - but the truth is - you can't stop her. She needs to want to do that herself. It's HER marriage she's screwing up. Not yours.