2004 Caught Wife Cheating/Lying on Valentine's Day. THIS IS WHAT I DID TO THE FLOOR.
[font=courier new][/font][color=red][/color]Last year on Valentine's Day, I found out my wife was cheating on me with the guy who installed our kitchen floor tile.
She was out of town when I put it all together. She came back that afternoon.
I decided to make a lasting tribute to her and her new boyfriend using a piece of tile. Its an 'art piece' she saw when she walked in the door.
I felt like I needed to do something creative and unique so that when Valentine's Day rolls around each year I would not associate it with pain and deceit.
We are divorced now. He's divorced. They live together. I have a new GF and I'm a hell of alot happier now.
Anyway I hope some of you look at this and smile. Its definately a statement!
__________________
"Funny how the things you have the hardest time parting with are the things you need the least." B. Dylan
I'm smiling - but I can't decide quite yet if its from amusement or bemusement. Interesting. I'm curious too as to whether thats in your house now. Did you remove it?
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
Uh, no Tiki. After a few days, I covered it in cardboard. I left it that way for about a month. We went through a two week reconciliation debate. After that I chipped it out and replaced it.
All of this, Valentine's Day 2004, happened after I had suspicions in December of 2003. She 'poo-poo'ed' my suspicions and suggested we go to counseling. Between Christmas 2003 and Valentine's Day 2004, we went to 5 sessions, went on a family cruise (she called him in every port) and she led me to think things were working out.
I discovered her secret life through cell phone bills late on Friday, February 13th. I accessed her voicemail and heard a mssg to her he left while we were on the cruise. Said something like, "I can't wait til you get back and we can start our lives together like we planned." OUCH! OOOOOUCH!
So for the sake of the family, I told her the 'door was open.' I was ready for whatever it took to repair things. I think. After two weeks, she had no pulse. The union was DOA.
We mediated, separated in June, divorce was final in October. This ended a 10 year marriage. Two little girls and alot of fun memories.
Yeah, so the art piece was the culmination of feelings/lack of sleep/deceit/brutal reality. It was fitting I think.
By the way Tiki, I enjoy your posts. You and Alphamale. I wish I'd have known about LS a year ago.
Yeah, Friday the 13th. And I'm a creative, sentimental type. Dates have meaning for me. Its funny, thinking back, I was in a daze that day... 2/13.
I'd just 'done the math' and was in Best Buy looking for some music. I was in the Rolling Stones section and struck up a conversation with a Stones fan. I ended up giving him 4 cd's I had in my car. I normally don't do things like that. I was real raw.
Hearing the phone mssg I referred to in my last post... well that was ugly and black. The darkest shade of black I have ever felt. His phone mssg alluded to a 'plan' she and her MM/BF were working on. I 'went down the rabbit hole.'
As I said, I'm a creative type who thrives on irony. I had plenty of that for inspiration. For those of you who think I was crazy for chipping a heart in the floor tile, crazy to me would be smashing up the whole floor. I was in control and deliberate.
She FREAKED when she got home. She actually had the gall to be mad at me for hurting the floor. uh, OK. Beeyatch.
The following four months were hell. I read about those same feelings in the posts on LS. I got on with my life. A neighbor thinks I began that phase when I made her the "Floor Tile Valentine."
Originally posted by mr314man
For those of you who think I was crazy for chipping a heart in the floor tile, crazy to me would be smashing up the whole floor. I was in control and deliberate.
That is what is so scary. Almost pathological. Most people would be yelling and screaming, but you were in maniacal control. Its crazy, and I like.
On Valentine's Day 2004, after the revelations that the wife was capable of freakish levels of deceit, I found some ancient 420 and smoked that. I think it actually helped but I would not advise most people on this board to resort to 420. It helped me though. Helped me a great deal. Glad I found it. But that's a whole other topic.
"Get hooked on fishing kids, don't get hooked on drugs!"
What a perfect valentine, considering what was going on. Your creativity certainly shines through.
You say you're big on dates, etc., so how are you taking things this year? Lots of haunting memories? You seem to be moving on, which is great - I just wonder whether Valentine's Day will be ruined for you forever. Or at least for the near future. It would certainly be understandable, but unfortunate for your new gf.
(Just curious. My guy had a similar experience with New Year's.)
Well, I guess I'm kind of remembering the day this way, right here on LS.
Honestly, I was planning this post a month ago. I thought sharing the images would be a great way of marking the day.
My new GF, and she is STUNNING, THE BEST, SMART, etc. worries a bit about my reaction to this day and what it means. I assured her that the holiday will never be ruined. She gets flowers today. I make her dinner. (She is not a cook.) We'll reflect on us, not the ex-wife.
So I mark the passage of a year by posting the images. Maybe somebody will see them and feel... better? I don't know.
I mark the holiday this year by adoring the wonderful new woman in my life. I tell you this... if I was able to see me today... on this date last year... I'd have been on Cloud Nine.
To preach to the downtrodden: If you are the one who's been cheated on, lied to, deceived, beat down... things do get better. Nine months ago I asked my therapist when things would get better and when I'd be healed from all of the anguish. She said I should consider myself 'healed' when I only think about what happened once or twice a day.
The experience will follow me forever. What you do with it and how you move on helps define you. Leaving her was easy after I figured out there was nothing I could do. Or should do, really.
He can have her. He deserves her and all the bugs that come with her.
I worry at times about "not waiting long enough." But that is conventional wisdom. I'm not really all that conventional. (see images in first post)
So tonight I'll light candles and hold my GF's hands. I'll hold her face while I kiss her and think about how lucky I am. She's brilliant. I'm happy. It sucked for a while but its way better now.
I was out of town over New Year's this year, so my guy was off the hook. We talked on the phone, and he sounded upbeat and sorry I wasn't there... but I guess I worry that he'll never be able to see that holiday in the exciting, new beginnings, fresh start, party all night kind of way that I do. He tries to hide it, but sometimes I see the deep sadness in his eyes. It's hard to know that sometimes when we're together, he's thinking of her.
Part of what I love about him is that he's sensitive and thoughtful, so I guess this goes with the territory. I just hope that - as they say - time really will heal his wounds. I know that there is only so much I can do, and the rest depends on the passage of time and his willingness to let it go.
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2004 Caught Wife Cheating/Lying on Valentine's Day. THIS IS WHAT I DID TO THE FLOOR.
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