[Blueboy]

Hey all

Really need some advice.

I moved to London from South Africa 4 months ago. My girlfriend of 4 years joined me 2 months after I arrived.

We had a pretty rocky relationship back home mainly due to the fact that none of my friends really thought much of her and it made it hard for me to devide my time. We viewed our move to London as an oppertunity to start a new life together away from everyone we knew. Just the 2 of us.

In a nutshell, she left me for a guy she met a week ago. Moved in with him. I am devastated!!! Cant eat, cant sleep, no-else to talk 2. she doesn't answer my calls or reply to my e-mails.

I would do anything for that girl and she knows it.

hi,

well am sorry what you are going through especially by yourself. But that GIRL doesn't love you or she just wants something eles, Let me tell you something about girls. We like when a guy is sweet but when he is too sweet we want something that plays hard to get. You might be giving her to much or too little of attention, maybe be she found some one that would give her alot or not enought that she wants to keep playing a game until the guy is over hells with her. Since i don't know how she is its hard for me to tell you. All i know is when she just leaves you out cold for some guy she just met, you should not be with her even though you love her its just not healthy and i know its suck to be alone after been with someone you love, but you have to understand that love works in a weird way. Don't call her the more you call her the more she will turn her back from you, you need to act like you don't care about her that you don';t need her to be happy DON"T BE SO DESPERATE even though you are . DO NOT show your WEAKNESS!! Once she will relize that the guy she is with is not what she is looking for she and you stoped calling her, she might snap out and start calling you and beging you to take her back, but DO noT Atleast not yet you got to teach her a lesson so she wouldn't do that again to you. tell her " you broke my heart and its going to take time , you have to prove me that you would not do that i again" And until then keep yourself busy life is not over, eventhough your heart might say it is, get a hobby start making new friends etc.... well i hope i gave you good enough advise to keep you going.

[moon]

Blueboy,

I think this girl might also be feeling resentful of you because your friends always hated her and now you two are in a new country, and no friends are around to protect you from her, so now she's saying see you around dude....I can do better.,....maybe even to show you that she's not so bad. Why did your friends hate her anyway? That would have to be hard on her ego. That is the only thing I can think of. Why else would she move thousands of miles away FOR YOU. You went out for four years? Believe that she did in fact love you at one time, but love gets marred when there is resentment and a longing to settle old scores. Believe me. It's not all about love. Think about that. Don't keep tossing around the love question in your mind. Does she love you now or not? Who knows? She's not acting good towards you, so that's all that matters. She is not acting like somebody you should want to be with, so say good riddance to her (IMHO).

This girl will probably be back though. What ,this new guy just fell into her lap and she's going to spend eternity with him? I doubt it. If I were you I'd lay low and get on with your life. Girls (and men for that matter) like this are a dime a dozen (cheap and unworthy).

Have fun in London. Enjoy the new culture yourself and maybe just try to let this girl go. Maybe your friends were right about her afterall. I bet you are asking yourself that right now. But that is sad that your friends couldn't just keep it to themselves. It doesn't seem like it was really much of their business.

But anyway, time to move on. London is a fun city. I am sure you'll make due. Take care.

[Blueboy]

Thanks guys. Means a lot. Time to shape up and move on. Or at least try 2.

[Dakini]

Originally posted by Blueboy
I moved to London from South Africa 4 months ago. My girlfriend of 4 years joined me 2 months after I arrived.

In a nutshell, she left me for a guy she met a week ago. Moved in with him. I am devastated!!! Cant eat, cant sleep, no-else to talk 2. she doesn't answer my calls or reply to my e-mails.

Hi Blueboy,

I swore I would never post here again, but your story made me very sad, and I just wanted to let you know that I understand how hard it can be in a new place. I immigrated from SA to the USA. I was much younger than you, but I can definitely identify with what you are going through. Immigrating anywhere is hard, but I understand exactly the issues you are going through being a SAfrican. Most of us in the SAfrican ex. pat. community feel a sense of loss, because SAfrican's, despite the violence and the chaos, love the country deeply, and often only realize this after we have made the move. Often times, the grass is not always greener on the other side - (and in your case, the damn sun never shines! - poor dear).

In your case, matters have been compounded because of your emotional loss - the loss of your support system. I am so sorry. I really have no relationship advice for you, as I am a dismal failure when it comes to them, but it sounds like you can do better. WAY better.

LS is often the only place of support people have, and I want you to know I am here supporting you. Feel free to PM (private message) me anytime.

I hope that you can find peace with this.