Can guys sense when a female "friend" might be interested in more?

7th February 2005, 10:54 PM

Seriously, do most guys know (can they sense?) if their female FRIENDS have develop a romantic interest in them? Say, they were buddies to begin with and then the feelings develop. Or are guys pretty dense when it comes to these things and the girl has to give some pretty obvious hints?

Or, can guys usually get a sense it and then act (or choose not to act) depending on his interest? (I think females can usually pick up signals from guys - friends or not, but I'm not sure how good guys are)

What has been your experience?

verbatim · 8th February 2005, 12:55 AM

I would have to say no, atleast not for me. This is coming from a person who will spend 5 minutes looking for his keys, which are right under my nose and I won't notice them until someone tells me they are there, and my vision is not the problem. In my case you would have to pretty much tell me exactly.

allina · 8th February 2005, 1:53 AM

I think they do, but there more likley to notice if they also have feelings for the friend, because then there paying attention to try to figure out if the feelings are mutual. If he only thinks of her as a friend and has no other interest he's less likley to notice.

SoleMate · 8th February 2005, 2:01 AM

Quote:

Or are guys pretty dense when it comes to these things and the girl has to give some pretty obvious hints?

Yes. Like, "DO ME!!!"

Sukotto · 8th February 2005, 12:27 PM

Hints are definately required, since we're pretty dense when it comes to female friends. All guys want to bed their female friends to some extent, but dont want to mention their feelings in case they aren't mutual and they destroy a friendship.

I guess subtle things is the way to go, like maybe grab his hand or just give him a kiss when the moment is right and see what happens.

WalkingTall · 8th February 2005, 1:59 PM

All guys want to bed their female friends.... ummmm no.... Maybe I am alone on this one... but for me a friendship is just that. If there was something that grew out of the friendship and both were available, then possibly. But I don't look at friends as potential sheet wrinklers.

Anyway as to the question posed, women must stop with the subtleties.... Because I see so many women flirt just for the sake of it with no desire for anything more than that. If the same person is interested, they must be wayyyy more overt in their advances to make it clear. No one wants to look like the fool when they misread signals.... (some guys have a huge fear of rejection)

Hund1976 · 8th February 2005, 2:00 PM

You have to drop some pretty big hints to get through to most guys. Like saying "I like you as more then just a friend" is a pretty good hint.

Sukotto · 8th February 2005, 3:38 PM

Hmm maybe not ALL my female friends, i value the friendship but if they said "sex?" then i'd have a very hard time saying no thank you. Though that might be because of the recent dry spell

Stylin22 · 8th February 2005, 11:30 PM

You have to hit me with a mack truck so that I know there is a highway there. I'm told I'm pretty good looking and that if I had a head screwed on straight, I'd get laid all the time. Unfortunately, I still haven't learned...

Actually, a buddy once told me, "you know, women tend to make all the rules here. They decide what and when things happen. They decide what we should do and shouldn't. They basically decide when sex happens. Why the f*** don't they cut through all the B.S. and just say, Yea or Nay to start out with...It saves so much time and worry."

CurvyGurl · 9th February 2005, 12:02 AM

I used to think men were oblivious, but I don't think that's true anymore. I think they know and pretend not to, so they either don't have to take the first step, or don't have to deal with it if his feelings aren't the same. Or maybe he thinks it but is too chicken to confirm it, for fear she'll think he's full of himself.

A myriad of theoretical possibilities.

migit129 · 9th February 2005, 12:06 AM

for me, i can tell, BUT it doesnt mean i'll act on it.

for me, its more like wishful thinking

gridiron · 9th February 2005, 12:19 AM

It depends on how the girls normally act around the guys. If most of the talk is usually pretty innocent, turning on the flirting and jokes with innuendo should be pretty obvious.
If the girls are naturally flirtatious around guy friends, then you'll have to really kick it up a notch-solemate's suggestion, while subtle, would probably do the trick.

dd1463 · 9th February 2005, 1:00 AM

Hello,

I have been in this situation many times before, and as for me, not once did I realize they had built up feelings for me. For example, when you first meet someone you keep a distance, as time goes on you get closer and closer to them right.... well, as the girls got a little closer too me, a little more touchy (hints under their eyes), I only thought our friendship was growing and they were getting comfortable with me. It is kind of hard to tell when a friend has feelings for you because weather they like you or not, as time goes on, friendships grow, and that only means you get closer to the person. The only thing that changes is the way you look at it, if you’re getting closer as a friend, or a lover (whatever you want to call it).

My two cents.