After all my experiences with dating, I have come to somewhat of a theory on what the majority of men want out of a relationship with a women. It really does come down to sex and alot of it when he wants it, no nagging or emotional whining, and keeping in mind that men are very basic beings. I mean if you think about it, men love women because they are soft, they smell good and they are innocent. That's initially what attracts a man to a woman correct? I mean they have their guy friends and they prefer the company of men when it comes to bonding and relationships. Ya know like no emotion, basic communication. The one thing most men need from a woman is the intimacy of sex. It helps them feel more well rounded. But I think that relationships sour when girls start treating their BF's like one of their GF's. Men just aren't wired to handle this type of relationship. I think back to all of the faults I've made in past relationships and all of them come down to me treating my BF's at the time too much like my GF's. You know like being very emotional, always calling to talk on the phone, unloading my problems, crying around him, wanting to always talk, etc. basically all of the things I do with my GF's. I also used to feel like men needed to earn sex from me, it wasn't just free. Well ya know what, I was really quite naive. I did a little experiment and cut out all of the emotional stuff and actually saved it for my GF's, I learned how to really love my body and really enjoy sex and I learned to really think like a man, and guess what? I am happier now in my current relationship than I ever have been. I don't know if it's a secret or if most women know about it, but you'll honestly have alot of men eating out of your hand and really getting what you want out of relationships if you start practicing this. Jusy my thoughts, whatcha think?
Ever read the Mars & Venus books? Cause you did a pretty good summary of it. Men and Women wants and needs are DIFFERENT and feel free to fight against that but you'll lose. It doesn't mean you have to be a man to get a man to hang around, just understand the differences and enjoy them, they aren't all negative.
Originally posted by gypsy25
I did a little experiment and cut out all of the emotional stuff and actually saved it for my GF's, I learned how to really love my body and really enjoy sex and I learned to really think like a man, and guess what? I am happier now in my current relationship than I ever have been. I don't know if it's a secret or if most women know about it, but you'll honestly have alot of men eating out of your hand and really getting what you want out of relationships if you start practicing this. Jusy my thoughts, whatcha think?
Here are my 2 Canadian cents ( not worth much either way)! I for one, am of the mind that a relationship is a balance. More specifically, a partnership. Let me elaborate. There are times that both people have needs, emotional, physical, intellectual. When my GF needs me to be there for her, because she is feeling something that needs to be expressed, I want to be there because I love her and want to share what she is feeling. I don't necessarily have to have a solution to what is wrong, but just be there so she can express what she is feeling and let her know I care. I have times like that when I get stressed, frustrated, sad..... and she is there for me for the same reasons. It brings us closer together. We share everything. As for the sexual part of it, for myself I need the intimacy to go along with it. I want to make love to her, not have an outlet for sexual frustration. For that there are easy alternatives (no need to elaborate).
In my relationships there have been varying degrees. Some have been mainly physical, but left me wanting more. Some have been intellectual, more of a friendship physical attraction. But when you meet the one person you connect with on all levels, there is no compromise as to what needs to be given up. You know that you fire on all cylinders and WANT to be there for him/her.
Yes there are times that you are less than enthusiastic about listening to something that you are not interested in. But I have learned to look past the surface and see that the underlying need is. Many times it's a need to be understood and loved unconditionally.
men and women are inherently polar opposites in many areas. this is what attracts us to each other. otherwise the human race would have died out long ago.
men want feminine women and women want masculine men. period.
the qualities about the opposite sex that annoy us the most are also the same dang qualities that attract us to each other.
WalkingTall, please marry and have many children. I think the gene pool could use several good shots of you (pun intended)
Needless to say, I agree with your particular take on relationships because it's the way I prefer to conduct my relationships, WalkingTall.
I think Mars and Venus has some great points (flash bulletin: men have feelings too!!!) but you also have to take every relationship on its own terms because men are (duh) all different. The broad generalizations may not apply to your particular fellow.
So congrats, gypsy, on creating and maintaining a relationship that is successful for you, but the lessons you've learned in this one may not necessarily carry over to the next one (should there be a next one).
Last edited by moimeme; 6th February 2005 at 4:52 PM..
Reason: clarification
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