Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. Throughtout the first 6 months or so, the relationship was fantastic. We were always together, always having fun and always making love.
We moved in together after about 4 months (pretty quickly, I know) and just recently I've seen a remarkable change in him. We don't have sex at all anymore, (he tells me his sexual drive has just gone down), he resorts to jerking off (I've caught him doing this twice), and he refuses to introduce me to his certain friends.
He goes to his friend Mike's house all the time and refuses to let me go with him. He says it's his spot to just "be alone and hang with the guys." Problem is, whenever I call there there seem to be girls' voices in the background. When I question him, he tells me that they're the other guys' girlfriends.
I then tell him, if the other guys have their girlfriends there, why can't I ever come with you? His response, "These people aren't the kind of people you like. God, can't I have ONE friend that's my own that you don't NEED to know??"
It hurts my feelings that he refuses to let me meet them, and he goes over there to visit a lot.
The big ice-breaker was tonight. He told me about a week ago that him and "the guys" were having a get together Super Bowl Sunday to watch the game. I was okay with this, as I had an offer to babysit for my niece overnight anyway.
Today though, when I ask him who's going to be there tomorrow he says, "Oh, the regular guys and their 3 girlfriends," just like that! I, of course, got extremely upset and asked him why I couldn't come, especially if everyone else was having their girlfriends there. His excuse? "You told me you were babysitting."
The only reason I agreed to babysit was because I thought he was gonna be out with his male friends and I didn't want to interfere. When I hear it's a group get-together though I was shocked. I could have easily cancelled my babysitting plans to go to a Superbowl party with him.
This is just really bothering me. I love him, and we live together, but I feel something fishy is going on. He insists that he would never cheat on me, and that he loves me...but I'm so confused.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or can anyone offer advice??
If you 'feel it' ... the feeling is probably right. Sorry. But I've learned to follow my gut over the years and have found that my biggest fears (gut feeling) have ALWAYS came true. How cool would it be, if you had the opportunity to.... hmmmmm... show up at Half Time.... huh? You better keep your eyes and ears open.
That's very true. I do have a gut instinct, but I'm not positive. And how could I be unless I caught him doing something? This feeling is just awful, and I don't know what to do...
Honestly I agree with the other poster, if you feel something is wrong, it usually is! It could be that he's seeing someone else that he brings to this "certain friend's" house and that's why he refuses to let you go with him or introduce you to them.
It seems fishy and I hope that you can get things worked out. Don't allow anyone to disrespect you or make you feel like you're worth less than you are!
__________________
~ What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?~
Love is an easy word to say. Make him prove it with his actions.
Barby, what's with your new sig that says that if you don't like what i say don't respond, had a few fights with the confrontational types in here lately?
quick check.... you live together right??? so his bills are obviously mailed there???? It's sad and sneaky, but you gotta find out.... Cell phone bills are always a good start. The cell phone itself is even better. Email...??? Start diggin' or keep worrying.
I find that all the stuff in my life that goes wrong is always a self-fulfilling prophecy. What i mean is if you keep acting all jealous and accuse him of something that he is not doing, he will end up doing. I was always worried that my ex-fiance was going to leave me after we made all the wedding plans, and sure enough she did.
Even if your bf is not cheating, your relationship is in deep doo doo. He's not having sex with you and he's excluding you from his friends. Something's rotten in Denmark.
It's almost as if he's trying to force an end to the relationship in that passive-aggressive way for which men are famed.
It's time for a heart-to-heart discussion between you and him. Otherwise there ain't going to be an "us" for much longer.
I know that our relationship is in trouble either way.
The sex thing is a major issue for me. I'm in a relationship, I want a fulfilling sex life! He tells me his sex drive is just low, and it's hard for him to orgasm recently, which it is. He can go forever and not have an orgasm. What gives?
Four likely explanations: he's taking anti-depressants; he's compulsively masturbating; he's screwing another girl; he's just not that into you anymore.
I suspect he's jerking-off a fair amount and simply has little ammo left. On top of that, I suspect he's emotionally disengaging and the emotional separation is manifesting itself in sex. I hope I'm wrong.
Originally posted by VirginiaBob
Barby, what's with your new sig that says that if you don't like what i say don't respond, had a few fights with the confrontational types in here lately?
Hell Yes He's "CHEATING" On You!! No way he's not girl. How come you aren't invited to the friends house but they always seem to have their girlfriends there? maybe he can't get it up for you is because he's too damned tried from boinking his other chick on the side. You need to face reality and leave him!!
Even if he's not cheating, excluding you from inter gender gatherings is hurtful and rude, and is grounds for a serious ass kicking. How can you decide if they're not your people until you meet them?
That's what I keep telling him. I wish he would let me decide for myself whether or not I want to hang out with them... it just really hurts my feelings that he excludes me from them.
Another reasoning of his he gave me this morning. There have been times when he's been at this friend's house and would stay there and hang out all night, and not get home until really late. Some of those nights I would call his cell phone and bug him, telling him to come home and that him staying all night was unnacceptable.
He told me this morning that I had embarrassed him too many times in front of his friends by arguing with him on the phone... and he didn't want me there because of that.
He's a big jerk. I can't tell if he's cheating, but he's definetly pretending he doesn't have a girlfriend when he goes there to hang out.
If he won't budge, tell him to move out. You don't need a boyfriend that doesn't want to include you in everything. Doesn't mean you have to DO everything but you should at least feel wanted. The fact that there are other girls over there is also highly hurtful, since having a boys night is understandable but a couples night and you're not there?
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?
Love is an easy word to say.
Make him prove it with his actions.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Linear Mode
