Relationship One - Sided Not Happy anymore

argyle

Hey Everyone!

First of all I wanna thank everyone who responds to these threads. It helps me so much to relieve stress and deal with these bad times by writing on this website.

Now the situation:
My S/O and I have been together for about 1 1/2 yrs. We love each other very much, but we've had our ruff times like everyone else. More so lately though.

The first issue I have with her is trust. She doesn't trust me at all. She suspects that I like other girls all the time. She even tried to trick me by pretending she was another girl and asking me If I was interested in another girl. She works with tons of guys all the time, and I give her absolute trust. She goes to the bars all the time with just the girls without me there and drinks and I totally trust her no questions asked. However If I even say hello to a girl, she immediately asks who is that, and gets all defensive. And if I have any conversation with a girl, like purely platonic and innocent, she will ask me "I think you like her". I've never given her any reason why not to trust me either.

The second issue I have is attention and affection. She craves attention from me. And ofcourse because I love her, I give it to her unconditionally all the time. However she never gives it to me. It's always me kissing her or hugging her or cuddling her or giving her back massages. I mean she does do it sometimes, but in comparison to me its not even at all. Even with sex its pretty much one sided. I would really like her to come up to me and just hug me and kiss me be a little aggressive. But it never happens. She's at work all day long, comes home, goes to the gym to work out with her friends, comes home and is too tired for anything else. She passes out and thats it. No time for me at all. I can't ever recall a time her saying " You want a back massage" or anything like that.

The third issue I have is that whenever we have a fight, like even a small one... she immediately brings up the break up solution instead of thinking about it rationally and trying to solve the problem another way. What does that mean? Why does she say that?

The next issue is her behaviour some times. She's a very hard worker however she takes on way more than she can chew. And so she get's stressed, irritable and irrational. Which leads her to basically take it out on me...when I did nothing wrong. Swearing, hitting, tantrums, slamming doors, throwing things...She tries to be this marter all the time trying to save the day for everyone, and she can't. Like the smallest thing, like losing a cd, and she snaps and gets so negative and sad and grumpy.

The other day she forgot what my profession is!!! - To me that equals her not respecting me.

And probably the biggest thing of all.. she claims that i'm #1 on her list when im not. Her family, friends and work seem to be above me all the time. It was my birthday a month ago, and she was sick and busy with work which I understand. But on the day of my bday, she didn't have anything planned for me, no gift, no card, nothing. She told me this all ahead of time which I said I understand. But really I don't. I mean she went to work and everything else, and she couldnt even get me a card or even send me an E-Card at work. They are free and they takes two seconds. The next day she took me out shopping, which really didn't suffice. I would have rather gotten a nice E-Card telling me how much she loves me and how much I mean to her than some gift that I picked out. Here's something small she made a phone list of her most frequently dialed numbers. It went, her family, her relatives, her friends, me and finally her boss. Now I know that's a small thing but it means something right?

And as well she never wants to come out with me and my family. She says she feels inadequate and uncomfortable around them which is BS because my family is so nice. I have to get her to come out almost forcefully. Like my parents 30th anniversary party a huge event, the kind where GF that plan on having a future with their BF would be there no questions asked. She wasn't there. And my brother asked her to make sure she was coming... and well when it got close to the date, she never said im coming or any indication that she was gonna be by my side.

She says she loves me all the time. Which im starting not to beileive anymore because there's just too much doubt for me.

From what I conclude from all of this and my experience is that she is selfish and self-centered and maybe a bit spoiled and insecure as well.

People have told me that I should just back off then, stay together but just draw away and give her the feeling that I may not be around anymore and get her to realize what a good thing she has. And get some sense into her?

Any thoughts on what she is thinking? Or if her feelings are true? Or what I should do???
Thanks you guys for reading very much!!!