Julius Caesar is dead, so why can't my ex Juliuz be dead too?
I am about to lose my mind. I can't take it anymore. I am still in love with my ex boyfriend Juliz. I've dated several guys since him. (what do expect, my name is Marilyn Monroe?) And I can't get him off of my mind. We started dating over 3 years ago and he's military so he got stationed in Hawaii back in June 04. We were on and off the entire time we dated because he got sent to Afghanistan and Iraq. I'm sure there were other girls when we were together. I wanted him to just love me. i had such strong feelings for him and I was so connected to him... When he went to Afghanistan, I knew when he got back without him even telling me in advance or calling me. Somehow I knew that I just needed to call his room. And when I called he picked up and when he heard it was me, he was like "how did u know i was back?" I didn't know how I knew, but I did. I still worry about him and love him and want to be with him and marry him one day, but with him being where he is and me being in Tennessee... I know he doesn't think about me anymore. I haven't heard from him since October. I know he has someone or many girls there.
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out how do I forget about him. I talk about him and think about him every single day. I tell every guy I date about him. They see his pictures, too. A huge part of me hopes that one day he'll realize that he loves me and comes back for me... I mean he knows I'm a good person and I'm reliable. He had me handle bill stuff for him while he was in Iraq and he sent his personal items to me that he didn't have room to keep over there. He still bought me jewelry for X-mas even after we broke up... I'd like to think that he still loves me. I'd like to think there is still hope... But I know there's not really a chance. So how do I get him off my mind? How do I stop loving him? I know it's sad and a terrible thought, but sometimes I wish he were dead so that I'd know why I can't be with him. It would be because he's dead, not because he doesn't want me anymore...
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~I wanna be loved by u just u nobody else but u!~
Well, this seems to be one of those cases where the only thing that'll help is time. You don't have anything to hold against him, so you can't get over him simply by hating him. And you don't know for sure whether or not he loves you, so you can't hold out hope that it'll work. My advice is this: Talk to him first off and see what he feels. If he says he loves you then there is hope in that, even if you guys ARE in a position where you can't be with each other right now. Now, if it becomes clear that it can't work or that he doesn't love you, I'd say that you should just continue doing what you're doing, seeing other people and doing your best to move on.
But hey, I know you're not really serious about wanting him dead, but with him being a soldier you might not want to make off the cuff statements like that, because when a 16 year old Iraqi kid trains an Ak-47 on him you're going to feel pretty bad for saying that. Personally, I think "our" troops are no better than the mafia's paid killers, but still, that doesn't mean I want another good working class American kid dying, and I don't think you do either.
i had been emailing him for months with no response.. . i guess they get busy and sometimes their email goes down. but i emailed him a couple of days ago to every last email address i have for him. and last nite i had a really nice dream about him and then i got up this morning and checked my email and he wrote me back! i gave him my new mailing address and told him to write me and email me back, of course. so maybe now i can get my questions answered... but it's weird. i had a dream and check my email and there's a message. i think i still have this telepathic connection to him. it's like i just know things sometimes or i have a dream about him... i can't let him go yet... He's my JFK.
well, he emailed me asking what was so important that i had to tell him so i sent him a reply letting him know what was on my mind. basically, i told him that i'm still in love with him and even though we're thousands of mile apart leading totally separate lives, is there still a chance that we might hook back up later. and i asked him if he was still in love with me. and i told him to be honest because i need to know how he feels because if he doesn't feel the same, then i need to know so i can detach myself from him and move on with my life.
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Julius Caesar is dead, so why can't my ex Juliuz be dead too?
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