[hugznkisses21]

OKay so after hitting a bit of a rock bottom.....argument there are soemthing I want to change but need some guidance on how...

My confidence...
My ability to trust more then I do now...
My insecurity that everything is my fault and he is going to leave...
and last but not least the fact that I rely on his affection as re-aassurance to myself that im worth something or beautiful. If he isnt affectionate on day i thinks its all me im wrong, im this im that. I want to have enough confience that I just know im all that and dont need him grabbing me all the time to reafirm that

What can I do to work on boosting my self confidence therefore make myself more of a friend to myself and in turn our relationship just that much betta.

[iceisles]

Originally posted by hugznkisses21
What can I do to work on boosting my self confidence therefore make myself more of a friend to myself and in turn our relationship just that much betta.

First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself. Inner faith goes a long way towards the healthy growth of confidence. Realize that you CAN make things better, and recognize that while you may have faults, that they are correctable. What I do is just try and block out all of the negativity and focus on the positives. It takes practice, because those negative thoughts and feelings do tend to seep back in occasionally. However, look inside you to find your inner strength. Follow your heart and you will get there.

[hugznkisses21]

thanks very much iceisles...

I see what u are saying. Sometimes a bit easier said then done.
I have a hard time not thinking bad or that I hate myself when I makes these mistakes. I always think that when I raise a concern and we end up in a bit of an argument over it I feel terible about myself and thinki am going to run one of the best things that have happened to me into the ground.

Do u know of any books that may help.

[Spira]

I am working on the same types of issues, however it is too late for me to save my relationship. I am going to therapy. That may be something you would want to consider because it is tough doing it on your own.

[hugznkisses21]

im going....im not sure if it is helping. Once a week is all i can afford but i think its not enough...dunno. All I can say is im starting today to be a new person...more positive and feeling better about myself and i have a good start I got a raise at work!

[Stylin22]

Hey, I've battled this as well. I had to do some serious soul searching. My recommendation is to take some time for yourself, at least 6 months or longer. Be with yourself, start keeping a journal, find out things that you like to do, etc. Date yourself basically....I'm like really serious too. The idea is to find out who you are and ACCEPT it. Check into some faith things as well, my whole perspective of spirtuality has come from this time. It's tough too and you will have some things to really think about but it'll all work out for the better.

A really good book that I read: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I feel like you'll really enjoy it. $15.95 at Borders.

[Spira]

Congrats on your raise! I can only afford to go once a week as well. And since I am new to therapy, I am not sure how it is going to work out for me either. Especially since I haven't had the chance to experiement with different therapists and so on. But it is good to hear that you are ready for positive change in your life. I hope everything works out well for you.

[hugznkisses21]

Thanks both of you.
Excellent advice. I think I will start a journal....that may help.
But I do think i can do this and think more positively!

[Spira]

Wonderful! I have kept a journal for many years and it has helped me through the worst of times. I think more people should do this.