My boyfriend and I have broken up after 4 and a half years. He wants to try again, but I am not so sure how to handle this. I love him terribly, I miss him, I love spending time with him, but we started going out after being friends and frankly I have never been sexually attracted to him. And after four years you can probably imagine that I was not interested in sex at all. This hurt him and he could not understand why. I really don't want to hurt him by not getting back together.

But towards the end of our relationship I was falling in love with other men and basically cheating emotionally. I am 23 and I don't want to settle down and he wants to get married.
Hurting him like this is really killing me and I love him very much.
Is sex really that important in a relationship?
Please help!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by Miss Sixty
Is sex really that important in a relationship?
Please help!

It depends on whether or not its mutual. If both partners hold sex as a very low priority or not a priority at all, but have an otherwise intimate and happy relationship then sure - a relationship without sex can work.

But towards the end of our relationship I was falling in love with other men and basically cheating emotionally. I am 23 and I don't want to settle down and he wants to get married.

In your case, however - you are finding that you do hold certain needs in a high priority: and your man doesn't meet those needs. If you marry him, those needs aren't going to magically disappear or transfer themselves to your husband.

The very best thing to do is be straight with him. Completely honest. It isn't fair to him to be pinning all his hopes on someone who doesn't want him sexually or want to be married to him - and it isn't fair to you to be keeping yourself in this situation. If you have to do it in a couples counseling session, then so much the better. It will be painful, but sometimes there just is no room for compromise and the risks in a given relationship will eventually edge out the benefits. You are not attracted to him and don't want to be married right now. Marrying this guy or even continuing to give him the impression that you will marry him will be a disaster for you both.

[Cecelius]

You'd probably be doing him a bigger disservice by getting back together with him than by just letting it die. You're not in love with him, you're not physically into him, and you're not in the same position regarding committed status that he is, so it's probably better to just let be over with.

[Stylin22]

In you are in love with him, shouldn't you WANT to get back together with him? It would not be a good idea to get back with him if you are just not wanting him to hurt anymore. You are running a higher risk of hurting him more.

[trivvie2004]

Sex is not Important in a love realtionship abnd i know it because my boyfriend and I been together for 6 months and there is no sex beetween us

Love is Patient

if you are not atractive seually to him its not a bad thing but is good that u love him for whp he is
just spend time with him and tlak to him and by having patience in him and knowing him better maybe u will get sexaully attractictive to him okie

take care[color=blue][/color][b]